


Just Playin'

by gneebee



Category: Brick - Fandom, Rick Grimes/Beth Greene - Fandom, TWD Brick - Fandom, The Walking Dead & Related Fandoms, The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff, Romance, Smut, brick - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-12
Updated: 2018-07-29
Packaged: 2019-05-20 21:11:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 25,719
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14902094
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gneebee/pseuds/gneebee
Summary: Can Sheriff Grimes move on from the heartbreak and tragedy of his past and find happiness with the pretty blonde investigator?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you all for stopping by to check out my latest Brick story, and a great big thanks to castronomicaaal for hosting Brick Week 2018.

00

His elbows were on the bar and the glass was at his lips. Her long slim fingers slipped over his and she gave his hand the slightest squeeze. He didn't turn his head, he just looked down at the brown liquid as he muttered, "Don't do it Beth, not if you're just playin'. I can't be that. It's gotta be for keeps, all of me or none of me."

That was it, the last straw. She couldn't do this again. "That's so unfair Rick. If you're not interested then at least be honest with me. Don't say it by accusing me of being some kind of game player. And just why would you say something like that to me when you're the one who can't commit? And worse, why would you think of me that way? That's not only wrong, it's mean. Have I acted like this is a game to me? Have I acted flighty or like I was just teasing? I feel like all I've done is everything I can think of to try and show you I care, hoping like hell you'd take a chance on caring about me. I may be slow but eventually I catch on. I've caught on now. You can relax. I'm all out of tries, I have nothing left to try. You win, I give up."

He still didn't look up, in fact his head hung a little lower, but his hand moved to cover hers and he clasped it tightly, "No. Please. Please don't give up on me Beth."

00

She'd done her course work at a private college outside of Columbus and she'd be eternally grateful to her maternal grandparents for footing the bill. They'd allowed her to follow her dream, a dream that must have seemed so strange to them.

She wasn't the type to crave the spotlight. She was far more the type that preferred to simply experience the satisfaction that came from getting the job done quietly and efficiently, and from behind the scenes. What she loved was research. She found gratification in being the person who dug up the old cases and rulings that set the precedents. Those were the things that eventually helped to win the cases. She liked to think of what she did as never choosing sides but of always choosing to find the truth.

She was thrilled when the King County Prosecutors Office hired her as an investigator in the D.A.s office.

That's how she met the sheriff, but it didn't take actually meeting him for her to first become attracted. All it took for her to start falling was seeing him that first time. It wasn't just his good looks, of course the looks didn't hurt, but that wasn't it. It was him. It was like she could feel it radiating from him, goodness and strength. Not just muscles but something more important, character.

Handsome? Absolutely. And yes, undeniably and incredibly sexy.

She spoke to him for the first time when she was researching a case for the Deputy District Attorney. A case regarding elderly abuse. The circumstances were heartbreaking and almost impossible to comprehend. The sheriff had been the arresting officer. It still wouldn't have been customary for her to meet him. It only happened because while she'd been chatting about that case with the D.A. the sheriff stopped by her bosses office to inquire about an entirely different matter.

Introductions were made and she was sure he had to have noticed the way she looked at him, she couldn't help herself. But she hadn't missed the fact he'd done plenty of looking himself. He tried to be discreet, he tried to hide his interest, she did too. But some things are obvious and the immediate attraction between them was so strong she was sure there was no way anyone could have missed it.

She thought for certain she had it all figured out. She was sure she knew what his follow-through would be. She expected to see him start coming around where she worked, making up excuses about why he needed to be in the D.A's offices and why he had to step in her office. He'd say "hi" and ask a question. She was sure that would go on for a couple of weeks and then he'd ask her out.

It didn't happen that way and she was so disappointed. She couldn't imagine how she could have read him and the situation so wrong. To add to the problem, she couldn't seem to just allow herself to feel bad for a day, go get a mani/pedi and have a glass of wine and then get on with her life. She told herself repeatedly, "Get over the disappointment and move on." She was being obsessive and ridiculous about Rick Grimes and she knew it. It even got to the point that when other men asked her out she always declined.

She and the sheriff spoke occasionally but just the bare minimum of words would pass between them and it was always strictly business.

She realized one day that she'd allowed herself to become fixated on Rick Grimes and the truth was, she didn't know one darn thing about him or his personal life. Maybe he was married or in some other type of long-term relationship. Heck, maybe he had a dozen kids, two dogs and a cat.

She eventually heard a story from another county employee, a woman named Jacqui. She learned a lot about the sheriff and his life and the story broke her heart. Jacqui worked in planning and zoning which had absolutely nothing to do with Beth's job. But they did have something in common, they both worked in the county building and they both liked to eat their lunch in the small park across the street.

They started casually chatting one noon hour and soon began having their lunch together every day. They enjoyed each other's company and became good friends. One noon hour, as they sat on the park bench lunching and talking, Beth glanced toward the county building. She saw the sheriff coming down the steps and her heart seemed to skip a beat. She just had to find out. She knew Jacqui had been on the job for years and Beth was sure the woman must know all the county gossip.

She tried to come across like it was no big deal, just idle conversation when she asked, "So what's the story on Sheriff Grimes? He always seems so serious and quiet." She nonchalantly took a bite of her tuna sandwich and waited to hear the answer.

Jacqui shook her head, "Oh that poor man. He's had a very rough go these past three years or so. It's tragic really, he had such a lovely family. There was him, his wife Lori and a young son, Carl. They had a pretty home not far from here, over on Oak Street. On the face of it everything seemed perfect and that's what everyone thought, that it was perfect. It turned out everyone was wrong, it was far from that."

Jacqui took a couple of bites of her salad while Beth anxiously waited for the rest of the story. Finally her friend continued. "It turned out the wife who seemed so perfect was stepping out, but not with just anyone. She was messing with the sheriffs' lifelong friend and partner. As nasty as that was you still never know, maybe Lori and the sheriff could have worked it out. Maybe eventually she would have come to her senses and he would have forgiven her. That stuff happens. But not for the sheriff. For the sheriff bad got worse."

"No. How could it possibly get worse than that?"

"There was an accident. Rick and the young boy, Carl, went to the big homecoming game at the high school. Lori slipped off to the boyfriends' place. It was a fire, the electrical kind. You know how those start slow, they can go undetected for days then suddenly everything just bursts into flames. It was the smoke that got them, they both died of smoke inhalation."

"Oh my gawd that's the most horrible story I've ever heard. No wonder he seems so solemn all the time."

"Yes, it's just him and Carl now and that's a shame. He's young and handsome and he's a good man. Solid as a rock. I just don't think he has it in him to give love another try. I haven't heard of him dating anyone." Then she laid her hand on Beth's and smiled, "But don't give up, people quit on love all the time. It just takes a persistent believer to bring them back."

"Wait, Jacqui I never said I…"

"You didn't have to, it's written all over that pretty face."

She made up her mind right then and there she wasn't giving up. She was going to make sure she was seen, heard and that the sheriff got the hint in a big way. Whether he wanted to see her or not didn't matter, he was going to be seeing plenty of her. She'd go out of her way to get in his way. She was sure if she could just chip away at his walls a little at a time they'd finally come down.

00

He'd made a solemn vow to himself, never again. Never again would he trust another human being, especially not a woman. He'd made that mistake once and he didn't like making the same mistake twice. When his world had gone to shit he'd lost himself completely and it took what seemed like forever to find Rick Grimes again. If he hadn't had Carl to care for he wondered if he would have ever "come back" at all.

Now something was threatening his resolve, danger of the most frightening kind was presenting itself. She seemed harmless enough. The small blond woman with the beautiful warm blue eyes and the smile that could light up the darkest night. But he saw her for exactly what she was, a danger to him.

It wasn't that he didn't want her, that was the problem. He wanted her completely. Her mind, her heart, her body. He wanted it all. What he didn't want, what he feared right down to the core of him, was the heartache that might follow if he let himself go there. He just couldn't allow himself to take the risk of letting his guard down and letting her in.

It was getting more and more difficult though. His armor was badly cracked and his resistance was low. No matter how hard he tried to make himself he could no longer simply turn away from this woman. He'd never ached for anything the way he ached to hold Beth Greene.

00

When it finally happened it happened almost by chance.

She was in Saturday morning mode, dressed in cropped jeans and a casual t-shirt with her hair pulled back in a simple ponytail. She'd laughed as she tied her running shoes, "Beth you're such a fashionista." But casual was really more her style. She dressed like a business professional all week long and she looked forward to dressing down on weekends.

She'd tidied up her small apartment and watered the flowers she kept in pots on the front porch, threw a load of towels in the washing machine and decided to visit the Saturday Market. It was a small local affair held in the parking lot next to the county building. There were always about twenty or so booths that mostly featured homegrown fruits and veggies, floral arrangements, homemade baked good and various craft booths with everything from quilted potholders to homemade soaps, lotions and candles.

She had her canvas bag containing her produce purchase of fresh greens and was lazily strolling along, she almost missed him in his jeans and plaid button-up shirt. His back was to her as he checked out the items in a baked goods booth. She had to smile, there was something so sexy about the way he always stood with his hands on his hips, one knee bent and his head tilted to the side just a bit. She wondered what it was about bowed legs she suddenly found so darned attractive.

She took a deep breath while she mentally told herself, "It's now or never Beth. How bad do you want this?" She answered herself without having to think about it, "More than anything."

When it came to men she'd never been the one to make the first move but this situation was so different. Now that she knew the story she was certain she understood what his reluctance might be and really who could blame the man? She couldn't even imagine all the pain he'd been through.

She was also sure of something else though. Whether he wanted to be or not, Rick Grimes was attracted to her. Still, if this was going to happen she had to make up her mind to be the aggressor. One more deep breath and a little push to herself, "It's now or never," and she walked toward him.

She shocked herself when she did it. Yep, she just did it. She slipped her arm through his and when he turned his head, stunned and obviously wondering who it was she simply smiled, "Well hello Rick, so nice to see you." Right, as if she hadn't just seen him at work the day before and as if they were dear old friends.

The sheriff was obviously at a loss for words so as the merchant put his pastries in a paper sack Beth continued, "Getting yourself some treats I see."

He was actually smiling but he also looked a little embarrassed, like he'd been caught doing something he wasn't supposed to do. "Yes, unfortunately I have a terrible weakness for homemade Danish."

Good to know she thought as she gave him what she hoped was a very inviting smile, "Well of all the weaknesses a person could have I'd say that's a pretty delicious one."

His eyes were trained on hers and she didn't mind a bit, he had such gorgeous eyes. Then he seemed to realize maybe it was his turn to speak, "So what's your weakness Beth? What did you buy?"

She would never get over in a million years what she said next, but she said it, "Well Rick to be honest, you're my weakness. But what I bought are salad greens."

She saw his neck flush and she was sure her face did the same. All he managed to say was, "Um, oh. Well."

The merchant was handing him his change and Beth gave it one more shot, "Do you mind if I tag along while you shop?"

She was thrilled and relieved when he smiled and answered, "No, of course not. Please do."

Rick Grimes head was spinning, his heart was pounding and his mouth had gone dry. He kept telling himself, "Down boy, back away. This is going to be nothing but trouble." The sheriff's trouble was he didn't listen to himself.

00


	2. Chapter Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much! Rick is reluctant and Beth got bold and things are about to go somewhere neither of them planned on, at least not yet.

00

He was only ten steps into their stroll and already ruining it for himself. It was the usual. Thinking. He tried to think about the good, he really did, and at first he succeeded. Like how damn cute she looked for one. He'd never seen her in anything but a conservative business skirt and blouse or women's trousers and a sweater. He suspected this was more the real her, she looked so natural and he liked it.

Her jeans sat somewhere just below her waist and the pant legs were rolled to mid-calf. She had on a tight pink t-shirt, tennis shoes and rather than her usual up-do her hair was in a simple ponytail. None of that could compare to the smile though. That damn smile of hers, it ought to have a warning label. She was adorable. Adorable trouble.

He should have never agreed to this. He could have made up an excuse about having somewhere else he had to be. It was just that when her arm slipped around his and he quickly turned to see who was touching him, all he could see was the smile and the warm blue eyes. He'd momentarily lost his mind.

Something came over him and his arm pulled away from hers, but not far. He took her hand instead. He felt the need to be holding at least some part of her but he was still determined, they'd walk a short way and then he'd make some excuse about why he had to say his goodbyes. He'd go home with his Danish and celebrate the fact he'd avoided danger. Alone in his empty house. He was always a little lonely but it was far worse when Carl wasn't home. This weekend his son was off visiting his maternal grandparents.

He was just about to make some lame excuse about how he had somewhere else he needed to be when she squeezed his hand. She smiled that damn smile and suggested, "It's passed lunchtime and gosh I'm hungry. Shall we grab a bite to eat?"

It was obvious he'd lost control, he knew that when he heard himself say, "Great idea. I'm just sorry I didn't think to ask first. Do you have someplace in particular in mind?"

He saw that sparkle in her eyes and just a hint of pink on her cheeks when she answered, "As a matter of fact I think I know the perfect spot, my place." He swallowed hard and the warning lights were flashing before his eyes, but she just kept smiling and talking, "I've got all these lovely greens and I roasted a chicken last night. If you'll eat it, I could make us a chicken salad."

He couldn't believe it when he heard himself respond, "That sounds great, I mean if it's not too much trouble," He knew he'd lost what little sense he had when he felt his mouth break into that stupid smile he used to wear and he added, "We can stop on the way and I'll pick us up a bottle of Proseco. I mean, if you like."

"I would like, it sounds perfect. So you drove?"

"Yeah, I don't live in town anymore. After…um Carl, my son, and I live a couple of miles out." Shit, this was just one more reason to stay away from her. He couldn't even form a complete sentence when she was around. "Did you walk?"

"Yes, I'm not too far, just a mile or so."

"If you don't mind riding in a Wrangler with the top off I'm happy to drive. Like I said, we can stop and get that wine."

"A Wrangler? Really? That's my dream car."

Now she almost had him laughing, she needed to quit that shit. "Beth you're a very different woman. I wouldn't have expected a Wrangler to be any woman's dream car."

"I like to think I'm not just any woman."

Right in that moment he went completely nuts and he spoke his mind, "I'd be willing to bet on that. You're certainly not like any woman I've ever known." And shit, he could feel it happening again, the smile he'd managed to hold back the past three years was spreading across his face.

When the day began there was no way either could have imagined, much less predicted, how it would turn out. All they could do when it ended was to try very hard not to judge themselves or each other. For now though, it was all fun and all good. The mood was light and happy and as much as he wanted to hate it, he was having the best time he'd had in years. The best time he could ever remember having with a woman.

While he opened the wine she put together a plate of cheese and crackers. Instead of the lunch they'd planned they sat in her living room snacking on the cheese a little, talking a little and drinking a lot. They ended up drinking the bottle of wine and then they ended up in each-other's arms.

Maybe later they'd think about it. Neither had eaten much that day, there had been the warmth of the sun that always enhances the effects of the alcohol. Plus, the wine had gone down so quickly. By the time they'd drained the bottle he had one arm around her shoulders and his other hand had slipped inside her t-shirt, gently moving along her tummy and her ribs until it reached her breast. His lips were on hers and his tongue was in her mouth, and when she made no objections he popped the clasp of her bra.

She knew she should stop him. She wanted him but this was happening way too fast. It was too soon. She didn't just want sex with Rick Grimes she wanted a relationship with him. But she couldn't seem to stop herself, much less stop him. Her head was light, the mood was mellow and his hand and his lips felt so good.

He knew it was wrong, this was the last thing he should be doing with Beth Greene, or any woman he wasn't paying for. Trouble. Trouble. Trouble. The trouble was he wanted it and he had more desire than he had good sense or willpower. In his head he'd played a little fantasy game involving her more than once. In his mind she'd been his warm and ready companion on many sleepless nights and in just as many morning showers. Now she was here and she was real and even though he knew he should get up and get the hell out of there, he just couldn't seem to make himself do the right thing.

Instead he took her glass from her hand, set it on the table and then slowly slid open hands up her t-shirt and slipped it off her, casting it and the loosened bra aside. She was leaned back on the sofa now exposed to him, her head resting on a pillow while he sat watching her. He began to unbutton his shirt but she pushed his hands aside and took over. As she was busy with her task he was busy pinching and playing with her nipples while she softly moaned "mmm." There were no words, they simply looked that knowing look in each-other's eyes.

When the buttons were loosened she pushed the shirt from his shoulders and he quickly shook it off. He bent forward sucking and nibbling at her breasts like he'd done so many times in those fantasies stopping just long enough to ask a one-word question, "Bed?"

She answered only, "Yes." He stood and she started to stand but he had other ideas. He picked her up in his arms and she silently pointed to the bedroom door before wrapping her arm around his neck and nuzzling her face into his chest. This was it and she knew it. It shouldn't be happening, she knew that too. But dammit, what if this was her only chance? She thought if she could have him at least once maybe that would satisfy this hunger she had for him.

He was gentle as he lay her on the bed but a lot more aggressive as he hurriedly removed her shoes, undid her pants and pulled them off her. He was still standing above her and there wasn't anything shy about the way his eyes slowly moved up and down her body as he took in every inch of her. She should have been embarrassed by the close scrutiny but it was only making her hotter.

By the time he finally started removing his own shoes and pants she heard herself beg, "Hurry." He smiled as he did just that and surprised her completely when he climbed on the bed and his mouth went right between her legs. Even if she'd wanted to she couldn't have protested, she couldn't get enough air to speak. Besides, whatever he was doing with his lips and his tongue felt way too good to ask him to stop.

Her legs were draped over his shoulders and her fingers were tugging at his curls and she felt herself give into it completely. She was lost in the bliss and lost in the moment and when his hand reached for her nipple and pinched almost too hard, but not quite, while his lips were sucking on that oh-so-sensitive little bump she felt her body start to tremble. Even the air seemed hot and there wasn't quite enough of it to fill her lungs, and if she'd been even halfway in her right mind she may have been ashamed at the way she called, "Oh Rick that feels so damn good, oh my gawd," As she came.

He never stopped what he was doing, he didn't shy away from that cum. When her body seemed to collapse he started kissing his way from her pussy up that little mound, over her pelvic bones and her tummy and her breasts until they were face to face, and then he smiled, "You taste so fuckin' sweet." And his mouth was on hers and she could feel herself and smell herself in his beard and it seemed so weird that it turned her on.

She was sure she was done though, she was weak and ready to rest. Then his hand slipped between her legs and she couldn't believe how quickly he had her wanting more. His fingers knew just what to do as they poked and played and teased. She felt her hips raise against his weight and he was rubbing himself against her while his fingers kept up their play. Then he suddenly stopped, frozen in place, "Shit, I don't have a…any protection."

"I do. In the drawer." She pointed toward the night table. He gave her a kind of surprised look but he reached in and got what he needed. She'd had the box since Amy gave it to her their first week away from home at Columbus. She'd been angry with her friend, "Geez Amy what do you think I'm going to college for, to entertain some string of men in my apartment?"

"No but it just takes one man and one hot minute to make a new life or far worse, catch a disease. If you don't need them don't use them, but a smart girl keeps them handy." The box had never even been opened, until Rick Grimes opened it.

He didn't just jump right to it, the mood had been broken for a moment and he wanted to get it back to that place. His mouth was on her body sucking, licking and kissing the soft white skin of her neck, her shoulders her collarbones and her breasts, while his fingers went back to doing things to her that were making her feel like she'd never felt before. "Rick, you…oh my gawd you make me feel so good."

He nuzzled into her neck and he was sure it was just the heat of the moment, otherwise he never would have told her what he told her. It was true, but he still wouldn't have told her because this would have never happened, it was never supposed to happen. But it did and he said it, "I've wanted this with you for so long Beth. I can't look at you without thinking about holding you."

With those words his body slid down hers and his mouth teased that little bump for just another minute. He moved back up her body just as he had before, with his mouth leading the way. When they were eye to eye he gave her a last chance, "Are you sure Beth?" She was sure. She let her last chance slip away as he slipped in.

It felt so good. Rick Grimes knew just what to do and how to move, he had it down. He was taking it slow as they both reveled in the steady motion of his strokes, while his hand and his mouth were busy on her neck and breast.

As their passion rose his strokes became faster and deeper. He had a hand tangled in her hair and the other was between their bodies where his fingers had again found that sensitive nub. Her legs were wrapped around his hips as if she were trying to pull him closer and deeper, while her hands clasped his face and her fingers wove in his curls.

They were on the edge of ecstasy as he hoarsely whispered her name, "Beth, Beth you're…you feel so good, so fuckin' good."

She could only respond with a low groan and, "Please Rick, please, I need…please…" as she begged for her release. He was so hard and he went so deep as he bit softly at her nipple and his finger rubbed the little bump so intensely and the release she begged for came as she called out, "Yes, oh Rick yes…" He let himself go there with her and he answered back, "Beth, oh fuck, Beth. So good."

They both simply collapsed as they tried to catch their breath and slow their heartbeats. She thought everything between them, not just the sex but everything, was all good. Of course it wasn't perfect, they'd let the sex happen too soon, but she was sure the feelings were there and that they were real. They were real for her. But he suddenly rose from the bed and without a word grabbed his clothes before hustling into the bathroom. He came out dressed except for his shirt and and his face was expressionless as he looked at her. The tone of his voice held no emotion, no love, no caring, no nothing. It sounded like he was making a statement at a business meeting, "I'm sorry. I should have never let this happen. It's all my fault. I'm sorry Beth."

She didn't respond, she couldn't. She had no idea what to say or any words to express her feelings. She heard the front door shut and her tears came instantly. What just happened? She didn't know.

She felt cheap, dirty, used. She couldn't get in the shower fast enough and she scrubbed herself nearly raw while her tears fell. She knew now she'd read everything completely wrong. She'd been stupid enough to think he cared but all she'd been to him was just some afternoon delight. There were no feelings there, at least not on his part. For him it had simply been about getting laid by a woman he knew was crazy about him. He probably knew before she did that she'd give in easy.

She changed her sheets, she didn't want to smell him in her bed. Then she opened another bottle of wine and she didn't bother with a wine glass, she poured herself a tumbler full and called her sister. She cried as she told Maggie the story and her sister cried with her, but then reminded her. "You wanted him any way you could have him Bethie, even if it was only temporary. Just one time. I don't think it's that he doesn't care, I think he's afraid to care. But whatever Honey, you have to move on. You deserve so much better than that. And quit hating yourself. It happened and now we move forward."

She drank herself to sleep and in the morning she showered again. After a half quart of orange juice, two cups of coffee and a real breakfast she started to feel human again. She got herself dressed, getting out in the fresh air would do her good. She was walking toward the front door when the doorbell rang. She wondered who in the world it could be.

She'd barely opened it when he practically pushed his way in, "I'm so fucking sorry Beth. I'm a goddamn asshole and I know it."

00

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well that had some twists and turns. Please leave a comment / review. I'll be back next Tuesday with more of Just Playin'. Until then remember, I love ya large! xo gneebee


	3. Chapter Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all! Gee, it started off hot, it got real cold and then Rick showed up at her door. Let's see where it goes.

00

Dammit, why did he have to come back now? She was just starting to accept that is was done. She should throw his ass out and never let him darken her door again. That would be the smart thing to do, that would be the best thing to do, that would be the right thing to do. Dammit. Why did she have to care about this man so much?

He'd been up most of the night, guilt-ridden, hating himself and missing her. He'd wanted to stay in her bed, he wanted to hold her and tell her how wonderful she was and how wonderful it felt to be with her. He wanted to have memorable times with her, dates with her, a future with her. He wanted it all with but he'd acted like an asshole and run away like some chickenshit.

He was rushing his words out, trying to say everything he wanted to say before she slapped him quiet or threw his ass out. He wouldn't blame her for either. "Please Beth, I know you think I'm a piece of shit and you're right. I know there's no excuse good enough for the way I acted. I need to have my ass kicked." It was like she could feel the anxiety and embarrassment that he was feeling, as if it was coming off him in waves. He went on, "I should have never let it go as far as it did in the first place. I should have had some self-control, but I wanted you so much and I just couldn't seem to stop myself. You felt what I was feeling, I know you did. You had to. You had to know it wasn't just about trying to get you in bed, I was lost in you. Everything about you. I've wanted you that way since the first day I saw you, but that wasn't all I wanted. It's just…fuck, I'm…I've been so afraid to get involved. I tried so hard to deny the feelings I was having for you. I can't deny them any longer Beth. I've been up all-night thinking about you and us and if you could find it in your heart to forgive me, to give me one more chance I'd like to try and do this thing with you."

Dammit again. She wanted to tell him to get the hell out and that she never wanted to see him again. Just to make matters worse her emotions betrayed her. She had tears in her eyes and her voice quavered when she told him, "You're right, you are a piece of shit and the way you acted was so damn mean and hurtful." Then she swallowed hard, sucked it up and got a little honest herself, "But what happened before that wasn't all your fault. It happened because I wanted it too and I went along. I was just as weak as you were and yeah, I felt it. I've been feeling it. It's why I got so forward with you yesterday. That's not my usual behavior. I was just so sick and tired of waiting for you to finally make your move. But so you know Rick Grimes, I won't let any man mistreat me or act like I'm some kind of booty call." She folded her arms across her chest and waited for what came next.

She wished he wouldn't do that. Stand like that and look like that. Dammit. He had his hands on those slim hips of his and he was looking down, head tilted just a little to one side. Again she could feel his anxiety, he was embarrassed and uncomfortable. Well good, he should be. Then he looked up at her with those stupid blue eyes of his and said what he said, "I take full responsibility for all of it Beth. You're a woman who deserves to always be treated thoughtfully and respectfully. I failed miserably in those things. Please, please let me try to make it up to you. Can we just maybe take a walk? Maybe talk a little? Whatever you'd feel comfortable with. Please?"

She didn't answer because she was afraid she might start crying again and if she did that she swore she'd start slapping herself. She just nodded her okay.

"Thank you, Beth. Thank you." He probably shouldn't have and she definitely shouldn't have let him, but it happened anyway. He wrapped her in his arms and her arms went around his waist and they held each other, but not for long. Just long enough for both of them to know they wanted so much more than just a hug.

She was already weak in the knees and she knew she was going to be in trouble again if they didn't leave. She took preventative action. She hurried to grab her house key, "I'm ready, I was just going out the door when you knocked."

He was relieved she was rushing them out because he'd felt it again, the need to hold her in his arms. The need for so much more than just that.

As they walked down the three front steps he reached for her hand, relieved when she didn't pull away. He gave it a gentle squeeze, "Thank you for this."

Her feelings were all over the place. She'd been so hurt by his hasty exit and so angry. She wasn't just angry at him though. The truth was she was far more angry with herself. She'd let it happen. When he left like he did she felt so used and she was so sure the only time she'd ever see Rick Grimes again was if she had the misfortune to have to interact with him at work.

She told herself just that morning that she accepted it, it was the way it was and now that she knew exactly what he was all about she could finally move on. After all, it wasn't as if she had a choice. And then he knocked and there he was at her door and apologizing. She should have made it a lot harder on him. The problem was she just didn't have that kind of fight in her, not when it came to that man and his dumb bowed legs and his stupid blue eyes. She just couldn't seem to muster up the strength to be as tough as she wanted to be and should be, not with him. She wanted Rick Grimes too badly, she cared way too much.

He felt the need to explain himself more fully and to apologize all over again. This was it and he knew it, the only way. If he really wanted her he had to put it all out there and try to convince her that maybe he was worth a second chance. He was so angry with himself for the way he'd behaved. She was such a sweet and wonderful woman and she'd given herself to him so unconditionally and so lovingly, and he'd taken that gift from her and then acted like such a jerk.

She deserved to be treated with…with what? With love? Shit. Love. All love had ever done for Rick Grimes was blindside him, break his heart and leave him hating the very idea of it. That was still no excuse, there simply was no excuse. What she said, that expression she used was so awful, "booty call." It cut deep to know she thought he could see her that way, as if she meant nothing more to him than that. Nothing could be further from the truth.

The trouble with the truth was it went against all those promises he'd made to himself. What about the resolution? What about protecting himself by never letting anyone in ever again, never making himself vulnerable to anyone? Never giving anyone the power to hurt him? It was the push and the pull. The push against what he thought would protect him, the pull of wanting this woman so completely.

He was afraid of her. More afraid of her than some perp with a gun. She could potentially be far more dangerous to him. She could be the kind of danger he'd never recover from, a knife to his heart. It was all too much to think about and he'd been thinking about it not just all-night long. He'd been preoccupied with thoughts of Beth Greene for months.

Still there was that thing above all other things that he just couldn't allow her to think. At least he needed to make that clear to her. That he thought the world of her. He was going to lay it out as at least an explanation for his behavior. "I, I don't know for a fact that you've heard but I do know how office talk goes. I'm guessing you know a little something about my past."

"I do."

He pursed his lips and his head tilted to the side just that little bit, and then he looked up and into her eyes. He'd really only meant to tell her the bare facts but for some reason he opened up to her. He let her right in to see his pain and to see his heart. "It's a strange thing Beth, how deeply it hurt. It's not like Lori and I had the perfect marriage, it was far from that. We got pregnant and married young but that was alright. We were happy at first. Then those last couple of years before the fire happened things got sour between us. I didn't understand why, all I knew was I wanted so badly to hold our marriage together, but I admit it was for the wrong reasons. It wasn't for me and Lori and love or romance or whatever. It was because I didn't want Carl to grow up in a broken home."

"I'm not saying what went wrong was all Lori's fault either. Looking back now I realize, she couldn't help not feeling love for me. If it's not there it's just not there."

"I was more surprised, hurt and disappointed by Shane's actions. He was supposed to be my best friend. We'd been best friends since our freshman year of high school. I was impressed by him and I admit that back then I was kind of amazed he was even my friend. Shane was the big man on campus. He was the quarterback of the football team, the guy with all the girls and no one looked at him cross-eyed. I didn't start finally coming into my own until our senior year. I got my height, I filled out and I got a little more confident. But Shane was still the man and I thought we were as close as brothers."

"He was the best man at my wedding and Carl's godfather. Never did the thought even cross my mind he'd do what he did, sleep with my wife. Shit, it's hard to say which hurt worse, the fact that my wife slept with my best friend, or that my best friend slept with my wife. Either way it sucked. But what sucked the most was that when it happened, when Lori and Shane died, my young son heard all the stories about what had been going on. Not from me. I would never have told him and never let him think anything but the best about his Mom. But you know how it goes, kids hear talk at home and they repeat that talk at school."

"I'm not telling you all this because I think it excuses my behavior and I'm not looking for sympathy. I'm just letting you know I had some losses and my son had some losses, and I haven't been willing to let anyone into our world since. Then you came along and I knew from that first moment I saw you, you were trouble. I kept fighting it and fighting it but yesterday, when you took my arm, the fight went out of me. Did you feel it like I felt it Beth, almost like it was some kind of otherworldly force bringing us together?"

He was laying it out and she opened her heart too, "I hadn't thought of it quite like that, but yes. I've never just looked at someone and felt like I wanted and needed them in my life. It's like a yearning that only one person can satisfy. It's like this person, namely you Rick, is what's been missing. That just seems so ridiculous to say, crazy really. This isn't some TV show or a movie. This is real life, not a fantasy."

He stopped and turned to her. Now he held both her hands in his and he looked in those warm blue eyes. She was right, this was crazy. It made no fucking sense at all. "Fate." "Meant to be." All that shit. That wasn't real was it? Could it be? "I care for you Beth, I do. I want you and I do want to try and make this happen for us in real life." And right there on the corner of Maple and Elm he took her in his arms and kissed her with a passion so intense she was sure she would have lost her footing if he hadn't been holding on to her so tightly.

They walked a while longer, both of them deep in their thoughts about all that had already been and all that could be. He stopped again, looked at her again and half apologized again, "I'd better get you home Beth. I've got to pick my son up at his grandparents' house. That's something else for you to think about, do you really want to get involved with a man who already has a child? Carl's 10 years old."

"I've known for a long time you have a son and I'm still standing here." Her smile was so sweet and so warm but what he'd asked her made him think, would he ever be willing to let her or any woman get close to Carl? Wouldn't that be setting his son up for the potential heartbreak he was so afraid of for himself? How could that be all-right? He'd have to think about it long and hard.

In the meantime he decided to avoid discussing it altogether. Things were going too well, they seemed to be back on track. "Can I get your number? I'll know my schedule for this week by tomorrow morning and I'd like to make plans to see you again, soon."

She smiled that smile again, "I'd like that a lot. If you'll give me your phone I can add my number." He did and she saw it there, on his home screen there was what had to be a picture of his son. He was so cute with his brown hair and freckled face. She put her number in and handed him back the phone.

It was done and he smiled, "Great." But he couldn't help thinking about that thing that was suddenly weighing so heavy on his mind. What about Carl? He could avoid introducing Beth to his son for a reasonable length of time. He could make excuses that he'd like to see her for a while first and know for sure they were on solid footing before bringing the boy into it, that made perfect sense. Eventually though he was going to have to take a chance, risk having his son hurt, disappointed, or both. And what if Carl was resistant to someone new is his Dad's life? Would there be some kind of ugly choice Rick would have to make?

As tough as it was he managed to put it way in the back of his mind while he walked her home and then showed her in. "Thanks Beth and I'll call you tomorrow night to see if we can make a date."

"Sounds good, and Rick, I'm glad you came back today." And his arms were around her and he was kissing her that way and they were feeling it again and like things often do, one thing lead to another. Before either of them questioned it or thought better of it they were back in her bed.

The mood was different though, slower and more patient, more tender and loving with just the right amount of passion and this time he didn't just abruptly leave after they made love. He took the time to hold her close and lightly stroke the backs of his fingers down the side of her cheek and along her jawline, while he looked in her eyes and told her she was an amazing woman in so many ways. He told her how much he cared and how he wished he didn't have to leave, because he wouldn't. And he told her how grateful he was that she'd given him another chance and he vowed he wouldn't disappoint her, that he'd prove himself worthy of her trust.

She smiled as she told him how much she wished he could stay and that she'd known all along he was a terrific guy and she assured him, "Rick, I know we can make it work if we both put our hearts in it and vow to make it happen."

"Me too Beth, I promise, that's what I want."

He meant what he said. He wanted her and he wanted to make this work with her. It was on his way to pick up his son that the nagging question came back to him. Was the issue of Carl going to be the deal breaker? He didn't want it to be but he had a responsibility to protect his son.

00

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It seems everything went quite well, except that our sheriff has added more potential trouble to his list of reasons for overthinking his relationship with Beth. I hope you'll leave a comment or review with your thoughts. I hope to see you all back next Tuesday for more of Just Playin'. Until then remember, I love ya large! xo gneebee


	4. Chapter Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading along. Our couple made up but it seems Rick still has a couple of things getting in his path, let's see if he can let himself go.

Monday morning always seemed to come earlier than any other morning of the week, this one was no different. She was in her routine, coffee dripping in the pot in the kitchen while she stood at the bathroom sink trying to get her eyeliner on straight. How come some mornings it seemed to go on with no effort at all? That never happened on Monday.

She finally decided it was as good as it was getting and started on her hair. That's when she began to wonder if he'd really call that night. As wonderfully as it had all gone Sunday afternoon, she couldn't help thinking back to how crappy it had been Saturday afternoon.

She tried telling herself to quit being negative, they'd resolved everything and today was a new day, but she couldn't help those lingering doubts. She'd never had an experience like this and she felt so unsure about what was to come. As much as she cared about him and as excited as she was at the prospect of this developing into something really great, she decided not to mention to anyone that she was seeing the sheriff. Because really? Were they going to be seeing each other? Was it really real? She hoped so, but for now the only person she'd be talking to about him was Maggie. Maggie already knew what had happened.

All that resolve lasted until lunchtime. She was standing in front of the main entrance to the county building waiting for Jacqui. They had their usual plan to walk across to the park and have their lunch together, chat about their weekends and enjoy the small patch of nature in the middle of the concrete landscape where they worked.

Jacqui had just exited the building and they'd said their hellos when Rick Grimes came walking toward the two women. Beth tried not to focus too hard on his bow-legged swagger but she couldn't help herself, it got to her every time. He smiled that damn smile, nodded his head just slightly and kept it cool and simple, "Afternoon Beth, Jacqui. We've made it halfway through Monday, it's all downhill from here ladies." And entered the building.

Her friend must have picked up on the way his eyes lingered on Beth's just a little longer because Jacqui immediately grabbed Beth's hand. "You and the sheriff! Tell me everything!" Beth could swear her friend squealed like a high school girl. And she couldn't deny the urge was there, Beth wanted to squeal too and tell her everything, but she wasn't going to. Not everything.

"Let's at least get across the street and out of earshot of half the county employees."

As they crossed the boulevard she took a couple of deep breaths and tried to get her act together, she was determined to maintain her cool and make what had happened with the sheriff sound casual and innocent. The minute they sat on the bench Jacqui was demanding again, "Okay, I want to hear _everything_."

Beth tried very hard to look and sound nonchalant, no big deals here, as she took the plastic lid off her bowl of salad, "There's really not much to tell Jacqui. I mean it's not like we're in some big romance or something. It's just been very casual, I'm not even sure we'll be seeing each other again."

"Tell."

Beth couldn't help giggling, maybe she should go back to high school. "Well it wasn't like some kind of formal date or something. It was just one of those things. I decided to go to the Saturday market and he happened to be there too. We said 'hi' and started walking together and it was nice, really nice. It was lunchtime and we were both hungry so I got brave and invited him back to my place for a salad. He picked up a bottle of wine and we had a nice lunch and talked a little. That was that."

"That can't be all there is, don't tease me this way Beth. Was there at least a kiss? Tell me there was a kiss."

"Yes, there was a little bit of kissing." If only Jacqui knew where he'd kissed her the most.

"Well did he get your phone number at least? I mean he is the sheriff so he could get anyone's phone number I suppose, but did he ask you for it?"

How was it that Jacqui seemed to be almost as excited about her seeing Rick as she was? It was getting harder and harder to hold back, well except for admitting to the sex. That was something she was having a little trouble feeling proud about.

"Actually he stopped by late Sunday morning and asked if we could go for a walk and during the walk he did ask me for my number."

"And was there kissing involved Sunday? Tell me there was kissing."

"You're terrible Jacqui, but yes there was kissing." Beth had completely lost control of her smile and her giggling, it was too much of a challenge.

"Do you have any concept of how _huge_ this is Beth? The sheriff hasn't been out on a date, including taking a woman for a Sunday stroll, in over three years!"

"How do you even know that for sure?"

"Pfft, I know everything that goes on. You're the investigator, you should know I'm the eyes and ears of this county. And besides that little fun fact, I've been waiting for our sheriff to get back among the living for a long time. He's a good man and he deserves happiness, just like we all do. I've sensed it since I first met you Beth. I'm sure you two could make each other happy."

00

She tried not to think about him calling. She stopped after work and got her toes done, a little something she'd planned to do Saturday afternoon until her plans had changed so dramatically. When she got home from the salon she put some mellow music on, made herself a light dinner of fruit, vegetables and cottage cheese. She didn't normally have a glass of wine on a random Monday evening, but this was a different kind of Monday night and it seemed to call for it. She poured herself a glass of Riesling.

There was still no phone call. After she ate and finished her wine she tidied the kitchen and chose an outfit for Tuesday. When she finally sat down to read her book at 7:45 she was having trouble concentrating. She was a little blue thinking he'd let her down. He said he'd call. Maybe she should have known better.

When her phone rang at 8:00 she nearly jumped out of her skin but she tried to sound calm when she answered, "Hello?"

"Hi Beth, I'm sorry to call so late but I just got home, Carl's in the shower and I finally had a chance to use the phone. I took him to the dentist after work tonight and I wasn't into cooking after that. We ended up at the pizza place over on Wilson. Sadly for my wallet they must have at least ten video games. So how's your evening going?"

She was finally smiling, "Not nearly as eventful as yours. I've been to the nail salon, had a little dinner and a glass of wine and I just sat down with a book. It probably sounds kind of boring compared to pizza and video games."

"It sounds relaxing. So, um I was going to ask if maybe we could have lunch together tomorrow? Time is limited so it can't be too special but I'd sure love to spend the hour with you if you're available."

Jacqui wasn't even going to care, she'd be too excited about this. "Lunch sounds very nice. I'd like that."

Now he could feel himself smiling, "Great. And, um, I was also going to ask…Carl has a sleepover at his buddy's house Saturday night, I thought maybe I could fix you dinner. I'm pretty handy with a grill and a steak."

It was when they hung up that she stopped and really gave it some thought. It was like a mini-epiphany when she realized, that's the way it would always be, or at least it would be until Carl was older. The sheriff would only be available when he wasn't with his son. She didn't have negative feelings about that, she understood completely. She'd just never really given it a lot of thought. Rick Grimes wasn't single and free, he had obligations and she appreciated that he took those seriously. It showed what a good and responsible man he was and those were traits she put a lot of value on.

She buzzed Jacqui as soon as she got to work Tuesday and told her she wouldn't be able to have lunch together. "Tell me Beth."

She was happy to have someone to share her news with but they were on the county's line so she didn't mention names, "I'm having lunch with a mutual acquaintance."

There was that squeal again, "I'd better get some delicious news at lunch tomorrow!"

* * *

Later she'd asked herself why she didn't question these things at the time, but the old saying was true, hindsight was 20/20. What was the point of worrying about it later? It happened like it happened. He'd asked her to meet him outside by the rear exit door and she did. He offered an excuse, "I'll just be getting back from a run over to Smithton County."

It would become their routine and she would completely miss what was going on, for weeks. Then she'd see it for what it was, Rick Grimes wanted to keep their relationship as clandestine as possible. He had his reasons, he should have shared those reasons.

The top was on the Wrangler and he smiled, "I thought we might need a little AC, it's a scorcher today." They didn't go far, just a mile or two out of town where he pulled off into a shady wooded area and grabbed the mid-sized Igloo cooler from the back. She thought it was pretty special that he'd packed them a picnic of ham sandwiches and sliced fruit, along with a couple of frosty bottles of sweet tea.

"Wow Rick, I'm impressed."

He handed her a sandwich and set her tea in the cup holder and then he smiled that smile at her, "Thanks but don't give me too much credit, I pack lunches every day. I'm probably overprotective and overly concerned but I don't like Carl eating school lunches. I don't know what half that stuff is. Anyway, I thought maybe it would be kind of nice for us to just have this time alone, instead of sitting in some noisy restaurant where we wouldn't be able to talk."

He'd think about it later and realize he should have handled things so differently, he'd done it all wrong. She was such a sweetheart and so understanding. If he would have just talked to her about his concerns she would have been okay with it all. Maybe they could have even figured something out together. But once again he'd been a jerk, he hadn't been open with her. If you can't be open and honest with a person how can it be an open and honest relationship? The million-dollar question.

It wasn't that he wouldn't be proud to be seen with her, nothing would make him more proud. It was the experience he'd had after Lori died that skewed his thinking. It was almost immediately after his Mother's death that Carl started hearing all the stories at school about his Mom and Shane. Rick felt like he had to protect Carl from finding out about Beth until he was sure he even wanted to introduce them. His and Beth's feelings for each other were going to have to be very serious before there would be an introduction.

He should have explained all that to Beth. He didn't.

That day though, they weren't thinking about all those things. They were just thinking about each other. She hadn't even had a bite of her sandwich when he was leaning in and kissing her. His hand slowly slid up the inside of her thigh and up her skirt, while his fingers started to tickle and tease on her panties. One slipped inside the thin fabric. She didn't object, she didn't try to stop him. She had the same problem he did, they just couldn't seem to keep their hands off each other.

They kept it at play. They were parked off the highway and in a copse of trees but still, they were out in broad daylight and the Wrangler was no place to make love.

As they made their way back to the office he asked if she could have lunch again on Thursday, she glanced over at him with a smile and asked, "Lunch?"

He knew he was smiling like a kid on Christmas morning, "I promise we'll eat lunch. First. Then we'll see."

She shouldn't be doing these things with him, she'd never acted like this with a man. My gosh they'd barely started to see each other. Their behavior was what her Mama would call shameful. Oh my gawd if her Mother knew what her baby girl was up to she'd faint dead away.

But she just couldn't help herself, all Rick Grimes had to do was look at her with those crystal blue eyes and it was as if all her good sense and morals just flew out the window. And she didn't care. At least in these early days she didn't.

He kept telling himself he had to quit this shit with her. What the hell was the matter with him? He was an adult, a father, not some horny teenager. He'd never been this way with a woman but every time he looked at her it was like he was compelled to touch her. Like he couldn't control it. No. A man can't think that way, a man has to be in control. But then again, she'd never asked him to quit, he would if she did. That turned him on too, the way she seemed to like him touching her as much as he liked to touch.

Thursday's lunch turned out to be a lot like Tuesday's except the sandwiches were turkey and they talked a little more. She asked if she could bring anything for Saturday's dinner and he actually said it, like some corny sleazeball at the local dive bar, "Yes, how about dessert?"

"Okay, anything in particular?"

"Yeah, my favorite dessert, you." It might have been the corniest thing he'd ever said, but it turned them both on.

* * *

He picked her up early Saturday, right after he took Carl to Patrick's house for a night that would no doubt be heavy on junk food and video games. Rick just shook his head and smiled thinking about it. He was okay with that, kids needed a day off just like adults. Carl and Patrick with both good boys and good students.

He was at Beth's house at 4:30 and she was ready and waiting. She was excited to see his home. The way a person lives tells so much about them and she was anxious to see how Rick Grimes lived. Was it a masculine home full of dark colors and leather furniture? Was he a neat freak, a slob or somewhere in between? She was so curious.

But seconds after he got inside her apartment she'd dropped her purse and her arms were around his neck, his were around her waist pulling her close to him and kissing her so deeply. They hadn't even said hello yet. There had been so much teasing and sexual tension during their week and now they were finally alone. She was as hungry for him as he was for her.

Her back was to the wall his body pressed to hers and his fingers messing up the hair she'd worked so hard at fixing. She didn't care, it was all just a little too hot for her to care. It was him that broke it up, pulling back just a little. He smiled that killer smile and in a voice thick with heat suggested, "Let's go play at my house."

She couldn't come up with a reason not to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, I'd say there's all kinds of things happening and it's going to be interesting to see if they can ever really dig out from under it all. I'd appreciate you leaving a comment / review. I hope to see you all back here next Tuesday for more of Just Playin'. Until then remember, I love ya large! xo gneebee


	5. Chapter Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much. Rick is not being honest, Beth is not paying enough attention to what's going on and someone asked me to smack Rick in the head with my keyboard. For now, let's just see how things go at Rick's house.

00

It wasn't way out of town, only a mile or two. He turned left onto one of those roads that if you didn't live on it you'd probably drive right passed, never even noticing it was there. It was just barely wide enough for two cars and although it was paved, she'd bet it was local homeowners that had it done. It didn't look like a county road, there was no curbing, no lines and no street lights.

She noticed a few houses quite a ways off the road, mostly obscured by trees or brush or both. She supposed the folks out this way were looking for two things; the privacy and feel of rural life with close access to the conveniences of city life.

They were almost to the dead end when he made a right turn onto a gravel driveway and there, back in a stand of trees was his home. The classic craftsman style house had even more charm in such a rural setting. It wasn't grand, but it was so beautiful. The house was painted a dark forest green with a very pale yellow trim. There was a wonderful front porch complete with a porch swing, two wicker chairs with floral cushions that looked comfortable and inviting, and even an occasional table. Flower baskets full of blooms hung from the beam and she knew then, Rick Grimes was a man who took pride in his home.

There was a sectioned-off front yard area complete with a nicely trimmed lawn and hedges and a short fence separated it from the rest of the landscaping which was all native. There were gorgeous old trees, flowering bushes, grasses and wildflowers.

"So far I love everything about it, I can't wait to see inside." Her assessment made him smile that beautiful smile she loved.

He took her by the elbow as he led her up the porch steps and through the front door. There was no formal entry, that wasn't really the craftsman style. They entered directly into the living room which spanned the width of the house. His decorating style was quite traditional and that made her smile, it suited him. She'd felt it with him, he was the family man / comfortable-family-home-type, and his style reflected that.

He seemed a little nervous as she looked around, like maybe she wouldn't like it. She liked it a lot. It felt warm and homey. It wasn't fussy or so modern the furniture wouldn't be comfortable. There was a big sofa, an overstuffed occasional chair, a recliner and coffee and end tables. There were lamps on the end tables and a floor lamp next to the recliner. Yes, all so traditional.

There was a little something extra though, the entire left side wall was lined with built-in bookshelves that included a desk in the center. The shelves were stacked with books and music and she knew then those were the things that Rick Grimes enjoyed. The very same things she enjoyed. They had more in common than she'd realized.

There was one other thing occupying the shelves, lots of pictures of Carl. Carl and his Dad fishing, Carl playing baseball, Carl Christmas morning, Carl at the lake and all his school pictures. He was adorable and he had such a bright smile, just like his Dad. She smiled herself when she told Rick, "I can't wait to meet your son. He's so cute and he looks so happy."

Rick responded, "Yeah, he really is a happy kid. Sometimes I wonder how that can be. I worried so much that he'd be sad or depressed forever when his Mom died. I know he misses her but he's bounced back."

He didn't mention any introductions but she didn't think too much about it. She was too busy watching him as he walked to a stereo system and popped in a CD. It was light jazz and she enjoyed it, nice mellow background music.

There was a den with another desk but it was freestanding, and there were a couple of file cabinets, a small couch, chair and a TV. "I bet you spend a lot of time in this room," she smiled.

"You're right. This is where Carl and I fill up on sports programming, we're partial to football and baseball but we also watch hockey and some NASCAR. We're just a couple of good old boys." It was obvious how his life was centered around his son and she didn't find that surprising, after all, for a long time now they'd only had each other. For the first time she wondered if she could ever fit in, but quickly chased the thought from her mind.

Carl's room looked like she would imagine a ten year old boy's room would. A double bed, a dresser and desk, a night table and on the walls lot of posters, sports pennants and a bulletin board covered in memories. There was a guest bath in the hall and then they entered Rick's room.

He looked down and then back up at her with a smile, "I'm going to do my best to be good and only _show_ it to you for now. It's not easy but I think maybe it's important we have a nice evening, dinner, talking, a little music and then see if it leads us back here."

She wanted to touch her hand to his cheek when she responded, but maybe it was better not to touch. "I think that sounds perfect. I do want to get to know more about you and your interests, and I want to share with you about myself."

It was everything he could do to simply take her hand as they stood in his bedroom, "It's pretty basic stuff for a man's bedroom I suppose."

"It's very nice, Rick. Everything is." There was a big bed, she was guessing it had to be king size. A highboy dresser, night tables on either side of the bed and another low dresser with a mirror above it. French doors lead to what she'd bet was a walk-in closet and there was another door leading to a big bathroom.

"The people I bought from added on the master bath and big closet. These old craftsman homes weren't designed like that."

"You must have a lot of clothes," She smiled.

He chuckled at that, "Not at all. I have three uniforms, one suit, one sportscoat and slacks and a couple of dress shirts. Everything else amounts to jeans, shorts and mostly t-shirts. I barely fill the highboy and the closet could double as a fourth bedroom for as little as I have hanging in there." He was looking down and she thought maybe he was a little nervous. After all, he was letting her see a piece of his real life.

"Well so far I love the whole place. I'm dying to see the kitchen." They successfully made it out of the bedroom and his hand rested on the small of her back as he lead her through the hallway to the kitchen and dining area.

The two side by side rooms spanned the width of the house, just like the living room. "I think I watched one too many home remodeling shows and I got a little brave. Or I got very foolish. I knocked down the wall between the two rooms thinking Carl and I would enjoy a big eat-in kitchen a lot more than a kitchen and a formal dining room. A couple of bachelors like me and my son don't do a much formal entertaining."

"This does seem a lot more practical and I just love it. The big center island and the farmhouse table. It's all so nice and homey. It looks like you kept some of the original cabinetry though, I like seeing that."

"I did, and I even rescued the big deep sink. The modern version of those cost an arm and a leg. We don't cook a lot of fancy meals but I do enjoy cooking for us and a nice kitchen makes it more fun. I'm also kind of insistent Carl learn how to at least fix the basics. This space gives us plenty of room to work together."

"Good for you. For as long as I can remember my sister Maggie and I always helped Mama with the cooking and cleaning. My Dad and my brother are completely worthless around the house. That's just ridiculous."

His arm was around her shoulders and he gave her such a tender kiss, "Well then, how about you and I make that salad we never got to eat the other day. It should go just right with steak." She was surprised that she blushed but it really was quite the memory.

He opened a bottle of red wine and poured them each a glass, "Maybe we should sit out on the back porch and enjoy this first. I'll get the coals going."

The back was every bit as charming as the front and they sat side by side on a little wicker sofa. He held her hand and smiled, "Tell me all about Beth Greene."

She skimmed over her childhood on the farm, told just a bit about her family and what had made her decide to become an investigator. "It's work I love and so I have no real career goal beyond what I'm doing now. I can't see moving on just for a fancier title and a bigger payday. I'd much rather do what I enjoy."

"I agree, there's no need to feel pressured to impress. Once I became sheriff I felt the same. This is it, what I want to do and what I'm happy doing."

"I couldn't help noticing you have about a million books, and I love the built-in shelves. What are some of the things you enjoy reading?"

He smiled and nodded, "I love to read. I love the classics in literature. I also enjoy history and historically based fiction, but I'm not beyond reading a bunch of modern day detective stories. How about you Beth? What kind of books do you curl up with?"

"I love the classics as well, I think I've read Jane Eyre five times and don't even get me started on Little Women. Reading it and The Secret Garden over and over was pretty much as wild as my misspent youth got. I also love poetry, Keats, Robert Browning, again, the classics. I love writing poetry and songs." She laughed softly and turned pink in the cheeks when she added, "But I'm not above reading a cheesy romance now and then."

"I'd love to hear you sing sometime."

"I'd love to sing for you."

Their conversation was so natural, nothing was forced. It felt like they could have talked about anything. They probably should have. They finished the first bottle of wine and he opened a second. They were both feeling the effects but they managed to get dinner on the table and actually eat their meal, then get the cleanup started.

He was putting leftovers away and cleaning the counters off while she stood at the sink rinsing off dishes. Suddenly she felt him come up behind her. His low body was pressing into her bottom while his hands moved up to cup her breasts and tease them through her clothes. His nose was tickling her ear in such a sensual way and she found herself leaning back closer to him. His voice sounded deeper and more throaty as he whispered in her ear, "mmm Sweetheart, I want you in my bed."

There was no use trying to pretend any different, it was where she wanted to be.

They stood by the bed and she started to unbutton her blouse, "No, that's my job." His fingers quickly had the buttons open and he slipped the blouse from her shoulders. He smiled as he reached a hand behind her and popped the clasp on her bra, slipping it off as well. His mouth was on her breast while his hands opened the button of her pants and she whimpered when his fingers slipped inside her panties. They'd just begun their touching and she already felt so ready for him.

He stopped what he was doing long enough to bend over and slip her shoes off and her pants down. As he straightened back up he stopped long enough to playfully nibble the soft curve of her mound then kissed his way up to her breast where he nipped and sucked. His hands slid down the back of her panties and clasped her ass as he slowly moved his hips, rubbing himself on her. She could feel he was becoming aroused and that added to her own desire. He moved his hand around and slipped a finger in her and when she groaned he asked, "Is that what ya want Sweetheart? A little of that?"

She went with it, "Yes, but more than that, I want this." And her hand began massaging his groin. She unbuckled his belt, loosened the button on his pants and carefully slid the zipper down. Her hand wrapped around him and it was his turn to groan.

He drew away, hurriedly removing his shoes, pants and boxers before practically tearing his shirt off. He threw back the covers on the bed and paused to look at her, smiling as he did. His eyes did that thing that both excited and embarrassed her as he looked up and down her body like he was committing every inch of it to memory. Then his hand moved to cup her pussy while he hoarsely whispered, "Lay down Sweetheart." She did and he quickly joined her.

He wanted her but this time he didn't want it to be rushed, they'd done that. He wanted to take it slow and take the time to enjoy every moment with this beautiful woman.

He slipped his body down until he could reach and lightly grasp her slim ankle. He lifted her leg just a little, and starting with the arch of her small foot he began slowly spreading kisses as his lips made their way up her leg, paused for a moment and took a little extra time at her mound, and then slowly he kissed across her pelvic bones.

For her it was all so slow and torturous, hot and sexy. She could feel herself getting more and more turned on, wetter and wetter, as his lips sucked the skin just below her belly button and then made their way to her breasts. She didn't want him to stop, not ever, but she also wanted more. She needed so much more of his touch, so much more of him. She was starting to have trouble lying still by the time he made it to her collar bones. The anticipation of what was to come next had her squirming and she began to murmur, "Rick, please, I need…please…" and he stopped to smile and then kiss her deeply while slipping a finger into her now wet and ready pussy. She moaned as her hands clasped his face and then her fingers slid back to tangle in his hair.

He moved his body, half laying atop her now. It always seemed to happen that way, in the heat of the moment he'd weaken and tell her what was in his heart, "You're the only woman that's ever been in this bed, the only woman I ever want here." His mouth moved back to her breast where he nipped and sucked at the taut nipple and delicate flesh; while his fingers continued teasing her pussy. She could feel the heat rising as her body craved more of him; but there was something else not so warm and pleasant. She understood why he felt unsure about this and unsure of her. She wanted to put his mind at ease and as her fingers stroked through his hair she murmured, "Rick, it's you I want, just you. Remember that."

More than anything he wanted to believe her but the doubt and what he recognized as fear just wouldn't leave him be. He almost let his thoughts spoil it all when they told him, "Sure, that's how she feels now, but what about when she tires of you and wants someone new to hold?"

She brought him back to the moment when her hand grasped his ass and in a sultry voice she pleaded, "Rick, I need you."

Finally he let himself go. He smiled that killer smile and made love to her like that's what it was, all love. No doubt, no fear and no holding back and as his body moved in hers he knew no other woman would ever be able to satisfy him.

He'd meant to get up then, clean up, but they never made it out of each other's arms.

He woke a couple of hours later, it was still early, just 10:30. He looked at her beautiful face laying on his chest, her arm wrapped around his waist and he wanted it. He wanted it so much, but he just couldn't believe he could ever really have it. A life with Beth Greene.

It was the need and the desire he couldn't fight though. He slipped quietly from the bed, went in the bathroom and cleaned himself up, and then he went back to her. He tried not to wake her as he took her in his arms, he just wanted to hold her close to him and pretend for a while that this really would be how it would always be, her in his bed and in his arms.

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**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hmm, kind of like progress, but Rick just can't seem to just let himself go. Please leave a comment / review and share your thoughts. I thank you all for reading along and hope to see you back next Tuesday for more of Just Playin'. Until then remember, I love ya large! xo gneebee


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to all! We knew that sooner or later the lack of honesty between the two of them...well...here it comes

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They were up early and she let him coax her to shower with him, in honesty she hadn't really put up much of a fight. They washed one another's hair and each other's bodies, dried each other off and wound up back in his bed. The lovemaking was fun, sober and it seemed to come so naturally. It was as if they were in sync with one another's body, each knowing exactly what the other craved and what got them to that place.

To her it felt so much more intimate when after the lovemaking, he continued to hold her so closely, stroke her back and play with her hair. He was nuzzling into her neck when he had another one of those moments, a moment when he told the truth about what was in his heart. "You always make me feel so good about life Beth, like things really could go right. I'm starting to believe that if I'd just let myself go I could have my happiness with you."

She wasn't sure she understood. She drew back from him enough to place her hands on his face and ask, "Why Rick? Why won't you let yourself go? I don't understand how come you can't go with what you're feeling. You must know it's what I want too."

"I don't know, well yes I do know. I think it's all those old scars. I'm having trouble trying to let go of the past hurts and doubts and move forward. There was a time I thought Lori and I were pretty solid, man did I get fooled. I've been burned and I have trust issues Beth. How do I know what you and I have is really real?"

She was hurt and she said it and she knew she would forever be unapologetic that she did, "I'm not Lori. I'm Beth. Why should I pay for the mistakes she made? Don't ever judge me based on someone elses' actions. It's unfair to me and so wrong of you to expect me to prove to you I'm not the person she was. Not fair Rick, not fair."

"You're right, I'm wrong. I'm so sorry. I know you're not her and I know our relationship can't work if I bring what happened with her into it. Believe me, you're so special to me Beth I can't even put it into words. Whatever's going on with me is my problem, my shortcoming, and I promise I'm working on it. Forgive me, please."

She was still hurt by what he'd said but she did understand and she did forgive him. Forgetting would be the harder part. The little seed of doubt was now firmly planted in Beth Greene's mind. How long it would stay buried was yet to be seen.

For now he pulled her close and she didn't resist as he pressed her body next to his. He buried his face in the curve of her neck and she found herself wrapping an arm around him and returning the hug. When her tummy growled she giggled and he laughed and said, "I'm not much of a host am I? Letting my guest starve."

He kissed her once more before climbing out of bed. His smile was so loving, his gaze so tender when he spoke, "You stay in bed Sweetheart, relax, I'll go make us a little breakfast."

She didn't stay there long without him, she got out of bed and went to the bathroom, freshened up and slipped his bathrobe on. She laughed at herself when she looked in the mirror, the garment drowned her small frame. She opted to just put her bra and panties on and walked to the kitchen. The heavy mood of their earlier conversation had lifted.

He looked up from his work when he heard her footfalls and smiled that smile that seemed to light up his whole face, "You look cute."

He was wearing nothing but his boxers and she smiled back, "I'd say we're a mighty cute pair."

"I have to agree."

He had bacon in the pan and was just beating the egg mixture for French toast, "I was going to bring you breakfast in bed."

"It'll be more fun if I help." They did have fun cooking together and when the food and coffee were ready he got them each one of his t-shirts and they enjoyed their breakfast on the back porch. Their thoughts were the same as they sat side by side eating the meal and sipping coffee, it was a perfect day. They were perfect together.

He took her home at eleven and walked her in, "I wish we could make a day of it but I've got to pick up Carl at his friend's house."

"I understand. I'm looking forward to the time when you feel comfortable telling him about us. I can't wait to meet him and maybe we can all enjoy good times together."

He didn't commit, he simply kissed her and said, "I'll call you tomorrow and we'll make some plans to get together this week, I mean if you'd like."

"I think you know I'd like."

"Thank you for the best weekend in...well in forever Beth. It was perfect." He gave her a sweet kiss and he was gone.

Another seed of doubt had been planted. Would he ever really introduce her to Carl?

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They developed a pattern, two or three lunches a week, a fast dinner when Carl had a study group or some other after school activity. Weekends were always a little more difficult. If Carl didn't have weekend plans she and Rick didn't see each other. At first she was very understanding, sure it was disappointing but of course his first responsibility was to Carl. When Rick would apologize she was good natured about it, "No, I understand Rick. Don't feel bad. Of course you want and need to spend time with your son."

It took a couple of disappointments for her to finally ask herself the big question, was Rick taking this relationship as seriously as she was, or was he just playing at having a relationship? Was he only interested in her for a little fun and sex? It was starting to feel that way. But it seemed like every time she got fed up and was ready to confront him, things got good again and she tried very hard to re bury all those doubts.

Still, the seeds of doubt were there and she also started paying more attention. Every time she asked about Carl, every time she mentioned that she'd like to meet his son or she would say something like, "Gosh that's so great his team made it to the finals, I'd love to watch him play baseball." She noticed how Rick evaded a direct response. There was never a good time for her to meet Carl. If he wouldn't even introduce her to his son, how was this going to have any hope of working itself into the long-term relationship she'd hoped for?

* * *

Carl had a sleepover that Saturday night. It had been several weeks since the first time she stayed at Rick's place and she was thinking maybe it was time to talk more seriously, maybe put Rick Grimes on the spot.

It started out so lovely. He put on some cool blues and they had a glass of wine as they thumbed through a book of historical southern photographs he'd picked up at the library. Things were good, easy and pleasant. Later he grilled chicken and they had salad and watermelon and the dinner rolls she'd brought. They sat out on the back porch and enjoyed their meal and more wine together. The conversation was light and playful.

After dinner he put in a CD of old love songs and they danced in the living room, and by the fourth song they had each other undressed and they were in his bed. It was all wonderful, fun and satisfying, like it always was for them.

It was the next morning that things got heavy. They were having scrambled eggs and coffee on the deck and she put it out there, "We've been seeing each other for quite a while now Rick. It feels like it's serious between us."

He took her hand in his, "I know, and it's been great Sweetheart. I'm happier than I've ever been." He smiled and as much as she loved that smile it didn't quite make up for the way she was feeling.

"That's wonderful Rick, but there's a big dark cloud hanging over everything for me. I've wanted to talk to you about it but you have quite the charming ability to avoid the subject altogether. That, and I suppose I'm good at avoiding conversations that could get uncomfortable." He was pretty sure he knew what was coming next and he dreaded this, he'd been dreading it ever since he knew he had her under his skin.

"Really? Well let's talk. What is it?" He didn't even manage to fool himself with the clueless response.

"Okay, I'll give you that, I'll let you pretend you don't know. But here's my question, let's see if you can just answer it in a straightforward and honest way. Exactly what is the time frame for my introduction to Carl? When are we going to stop hiding our relationship from him and everyone else in town? I understand your desire to protect him, but I don't see myself as a threat."

"Beth, oh my God, I don't either. It's…well there's so much to think about. Listen, I'm not avoiding your question, I promise I'm not. It's just that I had plans to ask you to come away with me next weekend. Not because I'm hiding anything, it's because Carl's going to be with his grandparents all weekend and I thought you and I could take a trip to Savannah. It'd be fun and that's also when I thought we'd discuss Carl and plan the best way to do this, together."

She desperately wanted to believe what he told her and she caved, "Alright **IF,** and it's a big IF Rick, if you promise me we'll talk about it and resolve it. Can you do that?"

"Yes, I promise Beth, I don't want to lose you sweetheart."

That week Beth Greene promised herself that no matter what, he was either going to finally make that commitment to her and prove he was serious, show her he was proud to go public and that most of all he wanted to introduce her to Carl, or she was calling it quits. It was the toughest thing she'd ever faced.

Although they'd never said the words she realized she loved him, but she also realized love wasn't enough. She admitted to herself she wasn't happy with the way she was living. She didn't mind staying home with him, reading, dancing, sharing a bottle of wine, cooking a meal together, and she had no complaints whatsoever about their sex life. But she couldn't be the woman he kept hidden, as if it was shameful they were together. This weekend would either make or break their relationship.

He'd known it for a while, really almost since day one, he loved Beth. She was the sweetest woman, the sweetest person, he'd ever known. They shared so many interests and their conversations came so easily. And the lovemaking. He'd never had the depth of desire for any woman that he felt for Beth.

In his heart he knew Carl would love her almost as much as he did, and he knew she'd be good to his son. He knew she'd never mistreat the child in any way, and he knew she'd be willing to share time with him, she'd understand that Rick had responsibilities to Carl. Her heart was so warm and open and she had such a gentle way about her, he had no doubt she'd love his son.

The three-hour drive to Savannah was pleasant. They both knew what they were doing when they kept the conversation simple with no hot button topics. They talked about work and the latest world news, and of course the news around the office.

He'd booked them a room in a quaint older hotel that had a nice bar and restaurant. After what had been a full day of work and the drive they opted for dinner right there. It was as pleasant as the drive. They shared a bottle of wine and an appetizer sampler, and they both opted for the fish of the day. All lovely, all cordial, almost perfect. It would have been perfect if not for the undercurrent of tension raging right below the surface. They had those things to discuss. Those things that would make or break their relationship.

After dinner they went back to their room and no sooner had he shut the door than his hands went to her hips, then slid back to her butt. He held on tight and drew her close. He was just about to kiss those pretty lips when she placed open palms on his chest and said, "Not right now Rick. First we need to talk."

He scrambled to put it off one more day, "I thought tomorrow we could stroll along the beach and discuss everything."

"No, that's not going to work for me Rick. Let's get it out in the open now. I don't want it hanging over my head all weekend like it did all week. I'm asking you flat out and I'd appreciate a straight answer. When are we going public and when do I meet Carl?"

"Beth, sweetheart, I…well…I honest to God don't have a doubt in my mind you and Carl would hit it off, and I want you two to meet, I really do. It's just…I'm just not sure the time is right. I was thinking we should give this thing another couple of months, just to be sure."

She reacted, "No. I can't do this Rick. It's going to happen now or it's never going to happen. The worst part of all this is I do care about you, I was even dumb enough to think the three of us could be a family, but I can't just give my heart away and not get anything in return. I'm sorry but this just isn't going to work out Rick. I deserve more."

Then he reacted and he probably couldn't have said anything worse or sounded more condescending, "I'll give you a little time to really think this over because I can't believe you want to just call it quits after everything we've meant to each other. You need to relax and calm down for a minute. I'm going to go have a drink while you give it a little more thought."

She didn't say "wait," she didn't ask him to stay like he'd hope, so he followed through and made his way to the bar. Beth called her sister, "I'm sorry Maggie, I know it's too much to ask but can you please come get me in Savannah?" She told her where she was and that she'd be waiting. Her sister knew she'd gone away with Rick Grimes for the weekend, and she could tell by the tone of her voice that Beth was hurting. She simply promised, "Bethie, yes, of course, you can tell me all about on our way home. Glenn and I are leaving now."

She didn't want to stay in that room another minute so she took her suitcase and went downstairs to wait, but there he was. One look at him and her heart softened, she hated that she wanted him so much. Maybe, just maybe he'd thought better about what he said.

_His elbows were on the bar and the glass was at his lips. Her long slim fingers slipped over his and she gave his hand the slightest squeeze. He didn't turn his head, he just looked down at the brown liquid as he muttered, "Don't do it Beth, not if you're just playin'. I can't be that. It's gotta be for keeps, all of me or none of me."_

_That was it, the last straw. She couldn't do this again. "That's so unfair Rick. If you're not interested then at least be honest with me. Don't say it by accusing me of being some kind of game player. And just why would you say something like that to me when you're the one who can't commit? And worse, why would you think of me that way? That's not only wrong, it's mean. Have I acted like this is a game to me? Have I acted flighty or like I was just teasing? I feel like all I've done is everything I can think of to try and show you I care, hoping like hell you'd take a chance on caring about me. I may be slow but eventually I catch on. I've caught on now. You can relax. I'm all out of tries, I have nothing left to try. You win, I give up."_

_He still didn't look up, in fact his head hung a little lower, but his hand moved to cover hers and he clasped it tightly, "No. Please. Please don't give up on me Beth."_

This time her heart had hardened for good. She said what she had to say and she really didn't care if the other bar patrons heard. She was done. "No Rick. I can't keep letting you treat me like some kind of side piece. I shouldn't have let it go on this long. I'm going home and I'm begging you, if you have any feelings for me at all don't call me, don't come around and don't speak to me at work unless it's work related and there's no other way. I thought we could have something, I'm sorry we couldn't. Goodbye Rick."

She carried her case in the rest room and that's where she let herself break down. She put the lid down on the toilet and sat with her face in her hands crying. From time to time another woman would come in to use the rest room and say something like, "Stick to your guns Honey," or something else meant to comfort her. Although it didn't really help, she appreciated it.

An hour later, when she thought she could compose herself she splashed cold water on her face, fixed her makeup and walked out. She slipped into the first booth she saw, hoping he wouldn't notice her and he didn't. She sipped on a glass of wine while she waited for Maggie.

He continued to stand at the bar feeling like an asshole, trying to think of a way he could make this right, and pouring down whiskey.

She'd texted her sister letting her know exactly where she was seated and she was so relieved when Maggie and Glenn walked in and went right to her table, they'd made record time. Beth set her glass and tip money on the table, Glenn took her suitcase in his hand and they all started walking out. A now drunk sheriff grabbed at her arm, "Beth, please, please don't do this I love you."

Why did he say that now? He never had before. Maybe it was having her family there that gave her a little extra resolve. She stayed strong, simply shaking her head no, but afraid to even look at him. Glenn put a hand on the sheriff's shoulder and said, "Hey man, now's not a good time. Sober up and think about things."

On the way home she spilled it all to her sister and brother in law. Glenn didn't see any reason she should stay alone that night and he drove them all to his and Maggie's house. When they got there he gave Beth a hug and said, "You're a terrific woman Beth and you're also right, you deserve so much more than that. I'm going to hit the sack now and let you ladies have your space. I'll see you in the morning."

The sisters stayed up most of the night drinking wine while Beth talked about what an asshole Rick was, and how stupid she was and how she wished like hell she didn't give two shits about him. Maggie bit her tongue and listened. "Bethie, Glenn's right. You deserve so much more than that. You're strong and you'll get through this, I know that. And sweetie, there's a better day coming I just feel it."

Glenn drove her home Saturday afternoon and when she walked in her apartment all she felt capable of doing was laying on the couch and crying.

Rick called several times that weekend but she never picked up. She was a miserable mess and she wanted to talk to him, she wanted him to love her, she wanted to love him, but she just couldn't put her heart through anymore.

Monday Jacqui had questions about the big weekend and Beth was afraid to talk about it. She didn't want to cry on the park bench on her lunch hour, "Why don't you come by after work Jacqui? I have a lot to tell you."

She'd never been completely honest with Jacqui or anyone else for that matter. She should have seen that as a warning sign. If things were good she would have been calling Maggie every day to tell her about this great guy, and wearing Jacqui out talking about him at lunch. She was honest with Jacqui that evening. "Oh my gosh Beth I never...well I'm so sorry. I feel terrible, I encouraged you. This is just awful."

"You have nothing to feel terrible about Jacqui. Obviously I knew in my heart the whole situation was wrong, otherwise I would have been honest with you and my sister from the beginning."

There was a knock on the door and Beth told her friend, "I'm not answering it. It's probably him, he's been calling all weekend and yesterday someone pounded on the door for 15 minutes. I know it's immature of me but I just can't talk to him and I certainly don't want to see him."

The banging continued and Jacqui finally got up and answered, simply saying, "Go home Rick. It's done."

After that first week the phone calls lessened and he didn't come banging on her door. When they crossed paths at work she looked the other way, grateful there were other people around and he didn't approach her. She was strong. Until she got home at night. That's when she'd break down and cry. She wrote about it in her journal, she called her sister, she stayed as busy as she could, she did everything in her power not to call Rick Grimes and not to answer his calls. She succeeded.

Rick was miserable. Why had he said what he said about so many things? Why hadn't he fully allowed Beth into his life? He'd used Carl as his scapegoat, he saw that now. His poor son had it all on his shoulders and he didn't even know it. Rick knew everything that happened was on him, he was the one scared shitless. He'd let his fear ruin his chance at happiness, and in the bargain he'd hurt the woman he loved. There was another tidbit of reality eating at him, he'd very possibly denied Carl a stepmother to love him and help ease the pain of the loss of Lori.

He tried calling her and telling her all that, he tried going to see her. He knew he was walking a thin line, he was practically a stalker. He just wanted to tell her, he wanted to apologize, he wanted to get honest and he knew it was too late. He should have gotten honest a long time before.

He found himself crying often, he couldn't seem to lay down at night without thinking of her and and having his eyes fill with tears. Cooking was another problem; his mind would start remembering the meals they prepared together and how much fun it always was and tears would come. Thank God Carl never saw.

* * *

It was a Saturday morning at about 9:30, three weeks after the fateful trip to Savannah. A knock came to her door. Rick hadn't been around in a while and she no longer avoided answering.

She opened the door and felt her jaw drop, then quickly tried to recover her composure. She'd know him anywhere.

He was so serious when he asked, "You're Beth Greene aren't you?"

"Yes."

He stuck out a small hand to shake as he introduced himself, "I'm Carl Grimes, can we talk?"

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**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So there it is. I would very much appreciate hearing your comments. Thank you for reading along and I hope to see you all back here next Tuesday for more of Just Playin'. Until then remember, I love ya large! xo gneebee


	7. Chapter Seven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much. Some of you are angry with Rick. Some of you are angry with Beth. I'm ready to give them both a talking to. And now Carl's at her door. What could possibly happen next?

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She shook his hand and smiled, "It's so nice to meet you Carl, yes of course, come in and have a seat. Can I offer you something to eat or drink?"

"Yes please, do you have coke?"

It seemed early for coke but he was a special guest, and he was 10. "I do and I have some chips, would you like some?"

"Sure, I mean if it's not too much trouble. Can I help?" Just like she thought he would be, Carl Grimes was the perfect little gentleman.

"No, I've got it thanks."

She was dying to know why he was there. Had Rick sent him? Please no. There were a million questions, but she tried to act nonchalant. She waited to ask until she'd set the snacks on the coffee table in front of him, then sat herself down on the couch, "So Carl, how do you know who I am and where I live?"

"Gosh thanks Beth, I just knew you were going to be nice. How do I know?" His ears got a little pink but he tried acting like it was no big deal when he answered, "I did some things I shouldn't. Man, when my Dad finds out I'm going to be grounded until I'm 50."

She kept her voice calm and a small smile on her lips, "I see, well that sounds pretty rough. What did you do?"

"I've been spying, but gosh it's not like my Dad doesn't spy on me. He thinks I don't know about it, but I do. He also thinks I can't tell when you've been at our house, but I can. You know how you get a weird feeling and you can just tell something and you're not sure how? I knew the first time you were there, I mean the house even smelled different. I think it's your perfume." He smiled and shook his head, "Anyway, I just came right out and asked him, 'did you have someone over?' It was pretty funny cuz he was like soooo nervous and guilty looking, and I could soooo tell he was lying when he said 'no.' That's how I knew for sure."

"Anyway, I waited until he was in the shower that night and I snuck in his room. His phone was right on the dresser and I checked it out. I saw your name and number and then I saw texts he wrote you and that you wrote him. I read them all. Sorry." She was trying desperately to remember if they'd ever said anything a 10 year old boy shouldn't be reading.

"It was great for me though, you know, when he started sneaking around with you. I never saw my Dad act that happy." He let out a little laugh, "He had his big stupid smile back and everything. The other good part was he wasn't smothering me. Man, when it's just him and me it's like I'm his only friend in the world. I use to have to beg to do a sleepover or even just hang out with my friends on Saturday afternoon. He almost always said no. But when he started seeing you all the sudden he couldn't say yes fast enough."

As much as she was enjoying listening to him she was starting to worry that maybe he thought she was still his Dad's girlfriend and he just wanted to meet her. "Carl, maybe you don't know but your Dad and I aren't seeing each other anymore."

"Oh yeah I know. I could tell that right away too." He took a swallow of his coke and stuffed a handful of chips in his mouth, seeming to swallow them whole, then started talking again. "My Dad's been a big fat mess since you broke up with him. I mean I figure it was your idea because duh, he's a big fat mess. Man, you should see him. He doesn't think I know but I do, he cries in his room at night. Oh yeah, and when he cooks, geez, at first I thought it was onions or something, but no, he's just all sad and everything. Anyway, he thinks I don't notice but I'm not stupid Beth."

She hated that she felt so bad for Rick. Why should she feel sorry for him just because he was crying himself to sleep at night? She was doing the same thing nearly every night. But right now she had a very interesting guest, one she'd been waiting to meet for quite a while. There were so many questions, "I certainly don't think you're stupid Carl. In fact I think you're a pretty smart cookie. So how did you find out where I live?"

"My Dad. He forgets stuff works two ways, you know? He got me a phone a couple of years ago, mostly so he could call me like a thousand times a day and check up on me. Anyway, he put one of those tracking device things on it so he'd know where I was every minute. Well guess what? All I had to do was check his phone and I knew where he'd been too." He gave her the sweetest and most devilish little grin.

"You're quite clever, aren't you Carl? I can see that if we're going to be friends I'm going to have to keep these things in mind. I'll need to get a lot more sneaky."

"I want to be your friend Beth, but I really want you to be my Dad's friend again."

He was bright and he was sweet and she gave him exactly what he deserved, honesty. "I'm so sorry Carl, I loved your Dad, I do love your Dad, but there were some problems. He had trouble telling me about his feelings and I should have insisted that he needed to. I wanted to meet you but your Dad was afraid you might get too close to me. He worried that if I broke up with him later, or it didn't work out for whatever reason, you'd be hurt. His heart was in the right place though Carl, he loves you and he was just trying to protect you."

"See what I mean Beth? Why is he that way? I mean for gosh sake, I know about break ups. Susie Kramer was my girlfriend for three whole weeks and then one day at recess she just tells me she likes Sam Gilmore better than me. Just like that. It's life right?"

She wanted to laugh but she had way too much respect for this young boy, "You're right, it is life. But I think this goes a little deeper. Let's think about it. Suppose your Dad and I got so serious about each other that he and I decided I should live with you two?"

"Like get married, yeah?"

She didn't argue that point, "Yes, like that. You and I might get pretty attached to each other, we'd be like a family."

"Yeah, you'd be my step mom, my friend Patrick has a step mom."

This matter-of-fact kid who just kept speaking truth, munching on chips and sucking down coke had won her over, "Yes, that's right. I'd hope that you would love me and I would love you and we'd be close."

"Okay, Patrick loves his step mom, she's really nice."

"Well what if one day I said, 'I don't want to be married anymore. I'm moving out.' How do you think you'd feel?

"I'd be piss…, oops, sorry, I'd be mad at my Dad. I'm sure it would be all his fault cuz I can already tell how nice you are."

She smiled at the freckle-faced boy, "For arguments' sake let's just say it was no one's fault, it just happened. Would you be sad?"

"Heck yes I'd be sad, it would be awful. But what if that didn't happen? What if you married my Dad and you never got sick and tired of him? What if you stayed in love and what if you loved me and what if we were all happy? Shouldn't we all just take a chance?"

She was already falling in love with this kid and she told him, "I'm pretty sure I already love you Carl. And I do think it's a chance worth taking, but your Dad didn't want to trust quite yet and I wasn't willing to wait any longer. It seemed like then or never, you know? So I broke up with him."

"No offense or anything Beth, but grownups can be so dumb."

"You're right, we should have acted like smarter grownups and talked things over. I'm sorry Carl, I wish you and I could have had a chance to get to know each other better."

"Me too. Too bad my Dad wants to be such a dummy."

"Carl you know better, your Dad is no dummy and he loves you so much. I always felt that, how much he loves you. That's why he's overprotective. He's not trying to ruin your life. He just wants to keep you from getting hurt."

"Yeah, I guess you're right. Oh man, do you know what time it is?"

"It's 10:15."

"Shoot, I have to get to the ballpark right away, he's coming back to get me and he's going to be piss... mad as heck."

"I can drive you, but I thought he always stayed and watched your practice."

"He does, but today right as we were pulling up to the practice field he got a call from the desk sergeant. He had to hurry to the station about something or other. Anyway, he's going to kill me when he finds out I ditched practice, but I had to. It was my only chance to sneak over here and talk to you."

"Well I'm sure he won't kill you. Scold you maybe, and now you'll probably be grounded until you're 60, but he won't kill you."

"You're funny Beth.

"You're funnier Carl."

She pulled the car up to the curb and he pointed and asked, "I'm supposed to meet him right up there, ya wanna wait with me?"

She'd done such a good job avoiding Rick but she couldn't say no to this little boy. "Okay, sure."

They were standing there waiting and talking about baseball when Carl looked over his shoulder and then quickly took her hand. He held it, still looking over his shoulder. She was a little stunned but it was so sweet and she smiled down at him, then looked over her shoulder. She saw several boys about his age walking off the field with mitts and bats. He kept his voice low as he explained, "Practice is over and the guys are coming this way. They're gonna poop their pants when they see me holding your hand."

She willed herself not to laugh, then had a thought, "Shame on you Carl. But here, let me sweeten the deal," She leaned down and kissed his cheek.

"You're the best Beth!"

That's when they noticed the sheriff had pulled up to the curb and was watching them. Carl's little shoulders slumped as he sighed, "Well shoot, I guess I have to go now and face the firing squad. Wish me luck."

"I'm just sure it won't be that bad Carl, I'll say a prayer for you."

"Bye Beth. Thanks for the coke and stuff."

"Bye Carl, I hope I get to see you again sometime."

He turned to start walking that way, and then he turned back around. His arms wrapped around her waist and he squeezed hard, "I wish you and my Dad were still together. Bye Beth."

She rubbed her hand over his head, "I'm sorry Carl, I wish it could have worked out too."

"K," he was wiping at his eyes as he hurried off and Beth felt her own eyes fill with tears.

As he ran towards his Dad's Wrangler she hurried toward her own car, trying so hard not to let herself look at Rick Grimes.

She only drove as far as the park, she needed to walk around and breath some fresh air. She needed to think.

It was almost like an adrenaline rush of emotion; her heart was palpitating and she could swear she was shaking. And her thoughts, they were all over the place and mostly they were weighing heavy. These past three weeks had been so miserable for her and now she knew they'd been just as tough on Rick. And although she'd loved every minute of the time she spent with Carl, having spent that time with him made her think about how things could have been for all of them. That only made the pain worse.

She kept going over it all in her mind, how it had been with her and Rick. Most of it had been wonderful. He was always sweet and thoughtful and they had so many things in common, books, music, art. There was no denying the chemistry.

Carl was right, they were dumb. They let fear, doubt, denial and avoidance ruin their chance at happiness. So much of what went wrong between she and Rick could have been avoided if they would have just agreed to sit down and really talk. For two people who were so physically intimate, maybe being emotionally intimate should have come easier.

She should have told him how she felt weeks before she walked out on him in Savannah; and he should have come clean with her about why he was scared to have her meet Carl. If they would have both been upfront and had pushed for honesty from each other, maybe they could have talked about it. Really talked about it, and maybe they could have worked everything out.

It was his fault and it was her fault, that was just it. There was more than enough blame to go around. And Carl, the one they both wanted to protect was hurting now too.

She wished she had listened to what Rick had to say, oh not right away. After a couple of days, when they'd both cooled down she should have answered his call and let him say what he needed to say. She'd give it some thought overnight, maybe she'd call him Sunday.

In the meantime she went home and got her journal, sat on the couch and wrote about her day, about her feelings and about what she'd lost.

00

Rick was in a state of shock while at the same time his heart was breaking all over again. Beth.

But for now he had to deal with Carl and find out exactly what the hell was going on. When Carl first got in the Wrangler all Rick could do was look at him, he was too stunned to speak. As he regained a little composure he tried to keep his voice calm when he asked, "How? How long have you known about Beth? How did you meet her? The minute we get home I expect you to tell me everything Carl, understand?"

Carl was hurt and angry and his voice and demeanor reflected that, "Yeah I understand and don't worry because I'm not going to be like you, I'm not keeping secrets. That doesn't work out with people, does it Dad? I'm going to tell you everything and you can just go ahead and ground me til I'm 80!"

They rode the rest of the way in silence, both stomping into the house. Then Rick paused, closed his eyes and took a deep breath, he needed to be the adult. "Get in the kitchen Carl." Carl did as he was told, plopping himself down hard at the big farmhouse table and waiting for the worst. He watched as his Dad opened the fridge and grabbed him a juice, then got himself a bottle of water before sitting down with him. He was surprised how his Dad seemed almost calm, "Okay, how do you know about Beth and how long have you been visiting with her?"

His son was honest, just like he'd been with Beth. He told his Dad about the snooping and even how he could tell by the changes in his Dad that something was different, that he was happier. "Beth gave you your smile back Dad."

Rick felt the emotion grip him, he knew it was true. Beth had given him back his smile. "I just couldn't take a chance Carl, I was afraid. I was afraid I'd get hurt, and even though I did honestly worry you could get hurt too, I was selfish. I put it all on your shoulders and used you as my excuse. I'm so sorry for that."

"Okay well you can kill me if you want to but I'm going to tell you the same thing I told Beth, grownups are dumb. Okay so we could get hurt, all of us, but gosh Dad, we could also all be happy ya know. I'd be willing to try that even if it meant Beth might leave someday and I'd be sad."

"I can't be the only one in your life, it's a lot of pressure Dad and well I mean I love you and all, but I want to hang out with my friends and stuff too. I always feel guilty cuz when I do and you're all by yourself."

Shame went through Rick, how could he have laid so much on his son, "Oh my God Carl, I never looked at it that way. I'm so sorry. I put you in a terrible spot."

"Well don't get all guilty, let's just quit doing that stuff, okay?"

Rick and Carl opened up to each other that day and not just about Beth, about so many things, including everything that happened with Carl's mother. Rick got a whole new insight into his son, and Carl had a much better understanding of his Dad.

In the end they agreed to be more open with each other.

00

Her stomach growled and she looked at her watch, almost five o'clock and she hadn't even had lunch. No wonder she was starving. She'd just gotten up when there was a knock on the door. She didn't even try to guess who it could be, and when she opened it she couldn't have been more surprised, there stood Rick and Carl. Carl was by far the more animated, "Hi Beth, I'm already back to see you again!"

In spite of her sudden anxiety he made her smile, "Well I'm happy to see you again so soon."

Rick cleared his throat and tried to sound casual, "Carl decided it had been way too long since we went out for pizza, and that we desperately needed to do that right now. We both decided it would be a lot more fun if you'd join us. Would you Beth? Please?"

She kept thinking of what Carl said, wasn't it worth taking a chance? "I haven't had pizza in forever, that does sound good, let me get my purse."

On the way to the restaurant she turned in her seat and asked, "So Carl, how long a prison sentence did you get?"

"Not bad, just two weeks."

"Are you kidding me? That's all? If you spied on me I'd give you at least two months, and about a million other consequences."

"Yeah but I wouldn't have done it to you Beth."

For the first time in three weeks Rick felt himself really smile.

00

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kids, they never miss anything. Except shoes and socks, they can never see those. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed it as our couple seems to be making a little progress, with a lot of help from Carl. Please leave a comment / review. I hope to see you all back here next Tuesday for more of Just Playin'. Until then remember, I love ya large! xo gneebee


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much. I think everyone agrees, Carl is the mature one. Also cute and sneaky. Beth agreed to go for pizza and that's a start. Let's see if our couple can get it together.

00

It certainly wasn't the kind of place where a couple would go to have an intimate conversation. The kid-friendly pizza joint was crowded and loud. There was an entire room filled with video games that were banging, clanging and some even had bells ringing. Then there was the noise the kids made. They laughed and hollered at each other, at the machines and at their parents for more money; and they ran around. She couldn't recall ever having seen that level of chaos in a restaurant, maybe anywhere.

Carl was quiet compared to most as he busily played some game he was very determined to win. She could tell by the look on his face it was serious business.

She and Rick were alone at the table, at least for a few minutes, and she was never more grateful to have been stuck in a back corner. It was the closest thing to calm and quiet the place had to offer. Rick was tentative but he did it, he reached across the table and took her hand. "I'm sorry Beth, I shouldn't have brought you here. I guess I didn't think."

She looked in his eyes and asked him point blank, "Do you feel like you want to try to be 'us' again Rick? Do you want to see if this can work with you and me and Carl?"

He tilted his head to the side as he looked right back in her eyes, "Well yes, that's what I'd hope for. I want that more than anything."

"Then I guess I'd better get used to this kind of thing, don't you think? My biggest concern right this minute is whether or not their pizza is at least halfway decent because I'm starving."

There was his smile, she was sure someday it would be the death of her. "Thank you Beth. I don't know what the hell I was thinking before you know, everything went so wrong. How could I have screwed things up so badly? I know this isn't the place to talk about all that, but I do want to talk."

Just as the words were out of his mouth a young waitress in a red and white check blouse arrived at their table. Rick did the honors ordering and apparently the place wasn't just for kids. Beth smiled when he also ordered her a glass of red wine.

When the waitress left Beth asked him, "Two large pizzas for just three people? Who in the world is going to eat all that?"

"I figured you'd have one slice, maybe two. I'll probably have three. Wait until you see what that skinny kid can put away, I'm expecting a growth spurt soon. And it's not just having pizza tonight Beth, it's very important to him that there be cold pizza for breakfast."

"Cold?"

"I know, but to Carl it's the best meal ever." He smiled and laughed and took her hand again, this time squeezing gently while rubbing his thumb softly along the back of it.

* * *

They'd no sooner gotten in the car than Carl suggested, "Beth you should come over to our house, it's only 7:15 and it's Saturday night. You and my Dad can fight about everything and then kiss and makeup. I'll stay in my room and play video games."

Rick glanced over at her and she shrugged and smiled, then he burst Carl's bubble. "That's an excellent idea son. At least it was right up to where you got to the part about the video games. I let you get away with playing a few at the restaurant but don't forget 007, you're grounded. I'll let you read a book in your room though."

"C'mon Dad it's a special occasion."

"A special occasion, just what would that be Carl?"

"Beth's finally coming to our house when I'm there!"

She was sure it was wrong but she just couldn't help it, she started to laugh and she turned to look at him, "You don't give up easy do you Carl?"

Rick just shook his head. He was defeated, but not completely. "Okay, I'll give you the special occasion and I'll compromise with you. You can stay in the den and watch TV for an hour while Beth and I sit on the back porch and talk. After that it's shower time and then right to bed, you can read for half an hour. Any deviation from the agreement and I'll add a week to your sentence."

"Deal."

* * *

His hand was on the small of her back as they walked toward the kitchen. He opened a bottle of Cab, poured them each a glass, smiled and said, "I'm on restriction too, just one glass. I am the sheriff and I do have to drive you home."

That brought more reality into the situation. There wouldn't be any sleepovers at the sheriff's house when Carl was home.

He took her hand and they walked out on the porch, but they didn't sit together on the little wicker settee. Maybe it seemed too close too soon. Too much like the "old days." They took seats at the table, across from each other. They each took a sip of wine, set their glasses down and then he took both her hands in his.

He was anxious to say the things he knew he needed to say to her, "I wasn't honest with you Beth, and I wasn't honest with myself. I tried to convince us both it was all about Carl. Although I really did have some concerns about introducing a new woman into Carl's life, I realize now I was more scared for myself. I know that sounds selfish, shit, it sounds weak and needy. And stupid, really stupid. I finally found the one person who could make me feel happy and whole and I was too chickenshit to just go with my heart."

She moved her hands to grip his and she looked right in his eye. She was going to let him say what he needed to say before she spoke, but when her turn came she'd have plenty to tell him. "I don't know why I waited so long to tell you Beth…wait, maybe I do. I was scared, just like I was about everything else. I waited until you were walking away from me to tell you I love you. I'm telling you again, now, no matter what happens I love you." They held each other's hands a little more tightly.

"Rick, you're right about so much, but there's plenty of blame to go around. I avoided the possibility of any conflict, I ignored every warning sign. I just wanted our time together to be special, to be about the closeness and the fun and the lovemaking. I didn't want to face any issues and to avoid them I kept getting deeper and deeper into denial. Then when I'd finally reached the end of my rope, instead of talking about it I went from denial to drama. I had you cornered in that hotel room in Savannah. It was my chance to make you finally talk to me about what was going on with you, and for me to finally talk about what was going on in my own head and heart. Instead I created even more drama when I left."

"Rick, I'm so sorry I shut the door in your face after that, or worse, I didn't even bother to answer it. I reacted like an angry kid, not even answering your calls. I apologize for that too. I do think you were finally ready to talk but by then I was too stubborn to listen. The ridiculous part about that was, I only hurt both of us more. I never told you either, but I love you Rick. I have loved you."

They were holding each other's hands so tightly now it was almost painful. He had tears in his eyes, she had tears in her eyes. He stood and leaned across the table, kissed her and said it again, "I love you Beth, I love you so much."

"I love you just as much."

They stayed on the porch and they talked about it all, their past and what they hoped would be their future and they made a big decision that was bound to be a big challenge. They would spend as much time together as possible, weekday evenings, weekends, all of it, with Carl. The physical intimacy was going to be put on hold until they were sure they had the emotional intimacy worked out.

Carl was in bed asleep when Rick left to drive her home. He walked her in the small apartment and they kissed deeply and hugged tightly, and they both ached for so much more, but he left.

They had lots of incentive to make it work. They knew just how badly it hurt when they were apart. They were in love, they wanted this with each other, they were determined.

Over the next few weeks the three of them went bowling, they went fishing, they played mini putt, they went to the park, they went to the Saturday market and to the fair. They cooked together, they went out to dinner together. They also had their alone time, together.

When Rick and Carl were watching sports Beth preferred to be in the living room reading a book or writing in her journal. While Carl did homework Rick and Beth cooked dinner together. When Carl had his friends over to play video games Rick and Beth had their quiet time together on the back porch, or even put a little soft music on and danced.

The hardest times of all were when Carl was over at a friend's and they could have let it happen, but they didn't. They wanted to be sure they were on solid emotional ground before they took that step again.

She had some explaining to do. After all the tears she'd cried and how she'd turned to them for support, she wasn't sure how her sister or her friend Jacqui would feel about the reconciliation.

The first one she went to was her sister. She told her what they'd talked about and she was pleasantly surprised when Maggie didn't raise hell. "You've been in love with this guy since day one, and I'm pretty sure he feels the same about you. You're just a couple of idiots who went about things all wrong right from the start. Kind of like me and Glenn. I hope it works out Bethie, but if it doesn't I have a whole closet full of wine and a freezer full of ice cream."

Jacqui was still feeling the anger. "You just be real careful Beth, I've always loved the sheriff but he got on my bad side. There's no excuse for that man's behavior. Imagine hiding things the way he did. Thank goodness his boy is bright enough to get his Daddy straightened out. You just be careful with your heart honey. We'll see if he can get it right this time."

It was six weeks after their dinner at the pizza restaurant that Carl would be spending the weekend with his grandparents. Rick and Beth decided that would be their weekend. She would stay at the house.

Something happened that surprised her and let her know beyond doubt, Rick was serious about them being a family. It was a Thursday night, the night before Rick would take Carl to stay with Lori's parents. He shocked her when he suggested, "I think you should come with me when I take Carl. I want you to meet his grandparents, he loves them very much and they, of course, feel the same about him. These people are part of Carl's life and you're a part of his life. I think you should have an opportunity to get to know each other."

They were wonderful people who'd suffered a tragic loss under very difficult circumstances. But first and foremost they were Carl's grandparents. The minute he arrived on their front porch the door opened and she could see the love. They hugged him and he hugged back, happy and smiling. It was very clear, if she was going to be part of the Grimes family these people were a big part of the equation. They were friendly and welcoming to her and Carl seemed so happy to have them all together.

She understood the significance of it all and knew they'd taken a major step forward.

* * *

It was funny really, how tentative they both were. The first time they'd made love it was so uninhibited, but this time they were both so nervous. Maybe it was because now they had a much clearer picture of exactly what was at stake.

He opened a bottle of wine and poured them each a glass, then took her hand as they walked to the back porch. They sat together on the little wicker settee, holding hands, sipping wine and chatting about nothing in particular.

He set his wine glass on the table and slipped an arm around her shoulders. He took the glass from her hand and set it on the table, and then he brought her close. His open hand caressed her cheek as he drew her in and kissed her deeply. It was warm and it was passionate, but not yet needy. It was the kiss of people in love expressing that love.

It got hotter as they continued their kissing and then his lips traced their way along her jawline, down the soft skin of her neck to nuzzle in the little curve. His hand slowly and lightly grazed her breast as it followed the contour of her body, until it made its way to the hem of her sundress.

It had been so long and the touching, although mostly innocent, was making them both feel the all over warmth of desire. He moved his hand a little further up her leg where his fingers softly teased her inner thighs, and she began to make a sound like a low hum.

When his finger touched the outside of her panties he felt the wetness. He kissed her, stood and held a hand out to her. "C'mon Sweetheart." He helped her up and smiled that killer smile at her, while one arm wrapped around her back and his other wrapped under her knees. Suddenly she felt so shy as she smiled at him, and she wondered why that would be. She didn't know the answer, she simply buried her face in the crook of his neck while he carried her to the bedroom.

He set her on her feet next to the bed. "It's been so tough not to have this with you Beth. I've missed holding you and touching you so much." He smiled as he admitted, "It's been a real strain to continue being a gentleman and stick with our agreement. But I know it was the right thing to do because now I feel so sure we're on solid ground. We met the emotional challenges and I want you in every way Sweetheart, not just this way. I love you."

"I love you Rick and I want it all with you too. I want the love, the sex and to be a part of yours and Carl's lives."

He gave her a little kiss then smiled and said, "We've got all night, we could take it real slow, but I don't think it will work that way for me." They laughed softly and when he held her close she agreed, "I don't think we can either."

"We'll plan that for the second time around."

"Deal."

He kissed her more deeply and the need was there, she could feel it, and her kiss held the same need.

He bent down and slipped off her shoes, stood again and his hands gently encircled her neck. He drew her close and his kiss was hot, deep and full of passion. He felt her responding as she began to make the low humming sound while she softly leaned her body into his.

He held the kiss while his hands moved to her back and he slowly unzipped her dress; then he drew back and smiled that smile as his fingers slipped it off her shoulders. She took in a breath as his fingers lightly skimmed along the milky skin and then along her outer arms, causing the dress to slip further down so that it now rested on her hips.

He dropped to his knees and carefully pulled the dress all the way down. He encouraged her to lean her hands on his shoulders as he helped her step out of it, and as he cast it aside he smiled again, but the smile was different. It was the satisfied smile of a man about to have his thirst quenched and his heart healed.

He kissed the warm skin of her thighs and she felt his fingers graze her panties, just before he began to tenderly run his open palms along her hips and bottom. He leaned in biting softly at her mound and she felt the moisture spread and her panties dampen more.

He stood, weaving his fingers through her hair then pulling her close and kissing her deeply on the mouth, and slowly he began kissing his way down her neck. He kissed across her shoulder and then crossed back and spent a little time sucking lightly on the sensitive skin of her throat, as his hand lowered and he cupped her breast.

He was holding her to him when he could swear he felt her body slump a little. He drew back, "Is it okay? Are you okay Sweetheart?"

She could hardly speak, she nodded yes, smiled and whispered, "We've waited and I feel like it all worked out and I'm so happy that I think I got a little overwhelmed," She turned a nice shade of pink and he knew she was embarrassed when she whispered, "Now I know what it means to get weak in the knees."

He smiled and teased, "Is it wrong that I feel good about causing that?"

She turned more pink as she smiled and shook her head no.

"Don't worry Sweetheart, I plan to keep a good hold on you," His kiss was sweet and tender as he began to gently fondle her breast. He could feel her hardened nipple through the delicate silk fabric of her bra and he leaned in to kiss and nibble at the nipple through the fabric. He needed more than that though, and so did she. He reached a hand around quickly popping the hooks, and just as he slipped his fingers under the bra straps she stopped him. She smiled at him and removed the garment herself, and while looking right in his eyes, smiled broadly and tossed it backward over her shoulder.

He softly laughed, "Well done."

His eyes were so focused on her that she felt as if he was committing her body to memory, but when his arms reached forward and he covered her breasts with his strong hands she was no longer able to think at all, just feel. His eyes were trained on hers as he tenderly caressed them and whispered, "So beautiful, so perfect."

She felt like she was on display and she was a little embarrassed, but so turned on. She kept her eyes on his as she began to unbutton his shirt. When it was done her hands slid inside and pushed it from his shoulders. Just like every time she'd been with him the sight of his body thrilled her.

She reached out to him almost tentatively as she touched his arm, tracing her fingers along his biceps and then she did the same with his chest. Her touch excited him even more than he would have thought it could, and he scooped her into his arms. He kissed her deeply while his hand move to her breast and he began lightly brushing his thumb over her nipple.

His light and sensual touches were getting her so aroused and wanting more. She pulled back just a little and pretending to scold him said, "You have way too many clothes on sheriff." He smiled and nodding his head worked at remedying that. It was her turn to watch as he stepped out of his shoes and then began unbuckling his belt, letting his jeans fall to the ground. She saw the bulge in his shorts and when she reached for it he moaned in pleasure.

He eased her to the bed and she gave no resistance as she slipped in and he followed, laying down next to her. He cupped her face in his hand and kissed her, softly at first but the kiss deepened as he moved the hand to her breast and began lightly pinching and pulling at her nipple. As happened with Rick, the moves became more and more aggressive, but he never hurt her. It was always right on that thin edge between pleasure and pain, and it got to her every time. She was beginning to squirm with arousal when he moved his mouth to cover the breast, sucking and lightly nipping at the nipple.

She started to moan and the sound of her pleasure and need thrilled him, while also increasing his own desire. When she hoarsely breathed, "Rick," his need became intense and he quickly pulled her panties down and off.

He rubbed his fingers in her wet curls as he tried so hard not to rush it, but when he felt the wetness waiting there he couldn't hold back any longer, he slipped a finger into that sweet warm center. She softly gasped and let out an "mmm," and he smiled as his finger began to play and his mouth went back to her breast.

She was writhing with pleasure and need as he slipped another finger in and his thumb began tracing circles on her sensitive little nub. His mouth moved down to kiss and suck softly on her flat tummy and mound and she could feel it happening. Her hips were rising and she was desperately grabbing at his shorts, trying to pull them down, trying to get at what she wanted. She couldn't hold out that long though, not once he huskily whispered, "I wanna watch you come Sweetheart."

He got what he wanted.

He hugged her tightly reminding her once more, "I love you Sweetheart." When she'd caught her breath she moved in closer to him, her thumb slid inside the waistband of his shorts and she softly laughed, "You need to lose these."

"I won't argue," He rolled on his back and they both pulled down and he tossed them across the room. "Better?" He asked with that great big smile, and she smiled back, "Much."

He was kissing her again as his hand slipped back between her thighs and they both knew they wanted it to happen, no more playing, they'd waited long enough. He grabbed the packet but she surprised him when she took it from his hand, "No, let me."

He smiled and nodded his consent. He'd never experienced it, he wouldn't have thought it could be so sexy, but as he watched her roll the condom on him he felt his need grow. When she was done she smiled and spread her legs for him, and he slid his body between them.

He had himself propped up on his hands and he leaned down and kissed her on the lips, the throat, and the breasts. He looked at her and asked, "You ready for this?"

"Rick you know I am, please." She'd never seen those blue eyes look more intense as he stared into hers,. She let her hips rise and he guided himself into her. They were both so ready for the intimacy and they knew each other's bodies, they quickly got into a slow but steadily building rhythm.

He was hungry for her, thrilled that they'd come back to each other and he just wanted her to know how much it meant. He kissed her, told her he loved her, told her how good she felt, how lucky he was. All the while he was pumping into her, his fingers in her hair or lightly grazing along her neck, or pinching her nipples. She responded with moans and occasionally managed to whisper, "I love you Rick."

When he knew she was getting close again, and he knew he wouldn't last much longer, he began to breath softly into her ear, "You're so damn beautiful, so hot and you're gonna make me come Sweetheart." As he spoke he was stroking faster and harder, while his thumb rubbed that sensitive spot. He leaned in again, softly biting her breasts and her humming intensified. He felt her body tense as she grabbed at his ass while back arched and her hips rose. He knew it was about to happen and when he felt her let go he let himself go and they came together.

His face was buried in the crook of her neck and they were both breathing hard, bodies quivering with little aftershocks. Suddenly he leaned up, blue eyes sparkling and a big happy smile on his lips. "Marry me Beth. Marry me please. Right away, this week. We'll take Carl, your sister if you want, whoever you want, wherever you want, we'll get the judge to do it. Please say yes."

"Yes."

_The End_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd call that a happy ending ;) Again, thanks so much for reading along, for the kudos and for the great comments. I appreciate it all. Please leave me one last comment. I promise to be back soon with more Rick and Beth. Until then remember, I love ya large! xo gneebee

**Author's Note:**

> Beth got tired of waiting for the sheriff to make a move and when she made hers she left no doubt what she wanted. I hope you'll leave a comment / review. Chapter Two will post next Tuesday and I hope you'll be back for more of Just Playin'. Until then remember, I love ya large! xo gneebee


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